Hello out there! Once again, this is the Evil Midnight Lurker bringing you some odd and disturbing background material on the Sailor Moon Expanded universe. This time out we present the first installment of the Encyclopedia Metallia, your guide to the SME Dark Kingdom. The EM is, and will probably always remain, a work in progress; new entries will be added on a semiregular basis as we come up with 'em. For now, the current version has all foodstuffs mentioned in the first chapter of the Dark Kingdom Cookbook, plus assorted notes on such diverse topics as the major cities, general geography, and original inhabitants of the world of Shaizaar. Please note that little if any of this is remotely "official"; Takeuchi- sama never went into any great detail on the Dark Kingdom, so we're just making this up as we go along, and if you're expecting Holy Writ you've come to the wrong place. On the other hand, if you just read Mark Latus's "Kingdom Come" and you want to know what the heck a hidebehind is, read on! If this is your first exposure to SME, please check out the homepage at www.texas.net/~android/sme_main.html for more of the Big Honkin' Continuity. You'll never look at Sailor Moon in quite the same way again... Standard Questionably Useful Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all related characters were created by Naoko Takeuchi; copyright Takeuchi-sama, Kodansha, Toei, DIC and whoever else. The Dark Kingdom Renegades and related characters were created by Mark Latus. Wixxel grease was created by Phil Foglio but has been mutilated beyond recognition. Larnuma oil and Alether were created by Joe Dever but likewise mutilated. Hidebehinds and gardinels were stolen from Appalachian folklore, but no one's ever copyrighted that stuff so who cares? Anyway this incarnation of the gardinel is completely original so go away. All other bizarre creatures and foodstuffs are wholly the creation of the Sailor Moon E Taskforce. Please be nice and don't sue us... The Evil Midnight Lurker what Lurks at Midnight in association with Flying Giant Rubber Monsters from Space, Inc. presents a Sailor Moon Expanded project by W. Samuel Ashley and Mark Latus "I have stumbled by cave riddled mountains That rise barren and bleak from the plain, I have drunk of the frog-foetid fountains That ooze down to the marsh and the main; And in hot cursed tarns I have seen things I care not to gaze on again." --H.P. Lovecraft ENCYCLOPEDIA METALLIA A Guide to the Flora, Fauna, Geography, and History of the Dark Kingdom ALETHER: The bulb/root of a small carnivorous plant native to the Pallid Jungle. Alether plants are normally harmless to youma, but some enterprising mages have developed giant varieties for home defense use; the bulbs of giant alethers are tasteless and not used for cooking purposes. CAILLA: A lichen common throughout Shaizaar. Dried and powdered, it is used as a condiment; Sailor Jupiter reports that cailla tastes something like pepper with a hint of cranberries. CARPENTER SNAIL: Hive-dwelling molluscs common to southern fungus forest, these curious creatures resemble Earthly snails with the addition of four tentacles below the eyestalks. The upper pair are prehensile, while the lower are equipped with rasping saws grown from shell; these saws are used to cut pieces of woodfungus which are then transported to the hive as building material and cemented in place with a powerful glue secreted from the mouth. Carpenter hives over fifty feet wide and twenty tall have been reported in the forest depths; these hives bear a striking resemblance to elaborate cathedrals, flying buttresses and all. Complicated catch-basin and aqueduct systems trap enough rainwater for the hive's needs, funneling the excess away through elaborate gutters and downspouts. When rendered over a fire, carpenter snails dissolve into a thick citric acid-rich syrup redolent of kumquat. This is generally diluted with water and used as a flavoring agent. Hunters are advised to check each snail carefully, as hermit slugs (qv) are nearly indistinguishable from their prey and are quite poisonous. CITY OF EXILE: Queen Beryl's capital, the first human/youma settlement in the Dark Kingdom. Finding themselves in an extremely hostile environment, surrounded by native insectoid sentients whose demonic patron bore an ancient grudge against Metallia, the then primarily human Arcadians had little time to find an easily-defensible position. A nearby cave complex provided shelter while Beryl seized control of the local mana wells and the Generals kept khr'vorll forces occupied; these extensive limestone caverns became the nucleus of Kel Shaizaar, the City of Exile. Even today, most of the City is below ground. Kel Shaizaar occupies a "living" cave (there are very few dry cavern systems in the storm-wracked Dark Kingdom), slowly reshaped by trickles of water from the nearby River of Sorrows. Queen Beryl twisted this natural process to her own will, accelerating the erosion and deposition of limestone and guiding the flows to create a darkly beautiful subterranean realm; the city's every wall and chamber is an eerie swash of pastels, described by the Fourth Century poet J'Varn as "the spilled blood of a murdered rainbow." Here and there, bas-reliefs and statuary sprout from the walls and floor; skulls are a favored motif, but it has been said that the easiest way to find Beryl's personal chambers is to head toward the highest concentration of busts and portraits of Prince Endymion. CITY OF JADE: Capital of Zahgen, the northwest administrative district of the Dark Kingdom, Kel Jhaide is the most extravagantly beautiful settlement in the world--by youma standards. Humans find artists' conceptions of the place deeply disturbing. The City was built against and into the southern face of the Metallia's Fangs range; the high mountains are all that stand between it and the Zahgen- mire, renowned as the most incredibly lethal region of Shaizaar. This hazardous locale was hand-picked by General Jadeite, after his agents discovered vast deposits of his namesake mineral in the surrounding hills; to his mind the ego-boost was well worth the accompanying duty of keeping the Zahgen fauna bottled up. Almost every building in the City is built wholly or primarily of jade, carved and polished by generations of artisans, and laced with spells of preservation and structural reinforcement. Jadeite used his city as a showpiece for his power of dimensional manipu- lation; large portions of Kel Jhaide actually exist within pocket continua, where the laws of gravity, perspective, and even ordinary geometry no longer apply. Between this and the architectural styles favored by youma, Kel Jhaide is almost calculated to erode human sanity at a rapid pace. My distinguished colleague James Slade, Professor of English Literature at the University of California at Santa Cruz, contends that the early twentieth-century author Howard Phillips Lovecraft was somehow in psychic rapport with the Dark Kingdom, and based his descriptions of the alien city of R'lyeh on visions of Jadeite's metropolis. It is tempting to equate the principal inhabitant of Lovecraft's city, the bloated leviathan Cthulhu, with a visualization of General Jadeite's monumental ego. CITY OF THE FAR SNOWS: Kunzite's domain, the northeastern tundra, is ruled from the bleak walls of Kel Karthenax. A starkly functional city populated by cold-tolerant youma, Far Snows was founded in the third century of exile to bring the scattered inhabitants of Velkarth under more direct control in the face of the last war against the khr'vorll (qv) and, sub- sequently, the effects of their Great Curse. Kel Karthenax is the smallest of the Five Cities, and the most heavily fortified. The khr'vorll died centuries ago, but the tundra is home to many of the larger varieties of Curse-spawn; polar zuggernauts, vorpal prawns, and wolverine beetles are a constant threat, though hidebehinds generally shun the cold. The inhabitants, when not battling Curse-spawn, are primarily fisher- folk. DARK CIRCLE: Collective name of the five youma who seized control of Shaizaar-Beta prior to initiating conquest of Earth-Beta. Little is known about them as the main source of information on the alternate world, the Renegades, have been extremely reluctant to discuss the matter in depth. The prime source of information on the group is the popular movie series, "Sailor Polaris vs. the Dark World." This is primarily an adventure series and provides little information on the longterm social, political, economic, and ecological consequences of a youma victory on Terra. The five members of the circle are known purely by their titles in the film: the Dark Lord, the Dark Lady (changed from "the Black Lady" at the request of Queen Serenity for reasons unknown), the Sable Princess, the Ebony Lord (the comic relief of the series, also known as Lord Bruce the Poufter), and the Overlord. No other information about them exists. As the film series continually depicts Sailor Polaris as both the leader of the Resistance and the only competent fighter among this group, composed of alternate Senshi and the other Renegades, questions have been raised about the movies' veracity. Asked to comment, Sailor Polaris merely said, "I never said it was a documentary." A somewhat more vocal answer was provided by Lord Calcite: "Events have been fictionalized, but that's the nature of the entertainment business. The important thing is that it's an exciting story. Why spoil it by quibbling that it isn't absolutely 100% accurate on every detail?" Dr. Azurite commented somewhat cryptically that it was as accurate as every other historical film ever made, while Dr. Pyrite merely said it could have used a few Klingons. Rumours persist in academic circles that full accounts of the Renegades' stay in the alternate world exist, but remain inaccessible to scholars within the sealed section of the palace archives. DIRE BUTTERFLY: Spawn of the Great Curse, these indigo-winged insectoids travel in swarms of 50-200 individuals, constantly searching for youma prey. Dire butterflies kill with a poisonous bite; the nerve toxin is not lethal in small doses, but a large swarm can sometimes bring down even the most powerful of youma. The poison mystically stabilizes its victims, preventing combustion and allowing the swarm to settle down for a leisurely meal. Dire butterfly toxin is the weapon of choice for those youma who like to keep trophies. Like most Curse-spawn, dire butterflies are unofficially tolerated as part of the general youma eugenics program; it's felt that anyone who can be killed by a swarm of butterflies is better off out of the gene pool. In addition, dire butterflies' wing scales are edible; high in capsaicin, the active ingredient of chile peppers, "direspice" is a much sought-after condiment. GARDINEL: The largest animal in the Dark Kingdom, a reptilian creature created or modified by the Great Curse (qv). Mature female gardinels are sedentary carnivores, luring their favored prey--youma--to them by means of a powerful glamour. These house-sized monsters actually disguise themselves as houses, placing "doors" directly before gaping maws and devouring any who enter; razor-sharp tongues efficiently decapitate their unsuspecting "guests," leaving bodies intact while heads combust. Gardinels are always born in pairs: one male, one female. At this stage, both are highly mobile hunters with a cat-like build. They remain near their mother for three months, feeding on a share of the wildlife she draws in (the glamour has a similar effect on most animals, producing visions of a place of safety). When the male reaches full growth the siblings depart, remaining together, to seek out new territory. Once a suitable location is discovered, the female shifts into the second growth phase. As she becomes too large to move her brother hunts for both; after six months the female reaches full size and her glamour manifests. The male now leaves, becoming a solitary predator with no fixed territory, mating with any nonrelated female he comes across. Gardinels are found everywhere on the continent but the tundra, preferring forests or swamps some distance from civilization. Their illusions are quite persuasive and even hypnotically compelling, tapping into youmas' minds to create images of warmth and comfort, but are best suited to affect lone hunters or small groups; any reasonably skilled telepath will know these creatures for what they are, and mature females are almost incapable of physically defending themselves. Gardinels' meat is highly prized; the totally immobile female's flesh is extremely tender, the Exile equivalent of filet mignon. One must be wary, however; any male or young female in the vicinity will stop at nothing to protect a mature female. GRAXAT: A burrowing, insectivorous reptile common throughout the central and southern Dark Kingdom. Graxats, at 2'-4' long, are the largest source of conventional "meat" short of gardinels (qv)--and are far easier to find and kill. Graxat flesh is tough by our standards, but youma consider it quite tender. The meat, like that of all Shaizaar reptilians, turns bright blue when cooked. The breeding pair brought back from Shaizaar-Beta by the Renegades could not fully adapt to Earth's harsh sunlight, but their descendants thrive in a specially-built "darkhouse" adapted from similar designs found on the parallel Earth. There is little demand for them outside Calcite's circle; few humans try graxat more than once. HEEDRA: A bracket fungus, found growing on the trunks of woodfungus and screamertrees; mildly poisonous in large doses, but considered quite tasty. Heedra resembles birch bark in both consistency and taste. HIDEBEHIND: The mysterious scourge of the Dark Kingdom, last terrible legacy of the true natives of Shaizaar, hidebehinds are the only things youma fear more than one another. Very little is known of these creatures, even after centuries of their predations; they are by nature almost impossible to detect, permanently cloaked in magics that defy all attempts at analysis. All anyone is sure of is that their victims vanish into thin air, never to be seen again. The first hidebehinds were reported some years after the extermination of the khr'vorll (qv); there is no doubt that they are somehow connected to the aliens' Great Curse, but opinions differ on exactly what they are. These monsters, unlike other Curse-spawn, have no readily apparent place in the Exile ecosystem; they have never been seen engaged in any activity other than attacking youma, and occasionally appear as if from nowhere in densely populated cities--with no trace of teleportation magic. The prevailing theory is that they are in fact the ghosts of the khr'vorll race, eternally seeking vengeance on their destroyers; opposing schools of thought point out that the aliens' spirits should have been irrevocably absorbed into their Abyss. Hidebehinds project a glamour of invisiblity, a light-warping effect that apparently extends some distance beyond their actual bodies; all mystic probes stop dead on contact with the glamourfield. From close up, the field itself can be seen as a blurring of the area beyond the creature; anyone that close, though, is not likely to report his findings. Anyone who comes in contact with the glamourfield swiftly disappears, generally screaming in pain; witnesses invariably report a look of unearthly horror on the victims' fading faces, as if they had just learned an unbearable truth. The unseen killers are extremely difficult to destroy; they have excellent mystic defenses, and are effectively immune to hand-to-hand combat. Best results generally come from dropping large heavy objects from a great height. Dead hidebehinds vanish completely, leaving behind only a slight residue of slime that has never yielded any significant clues as to their nature (though it does make an excellent soup base). Through centuries of research and analysis, Dark Kingdom sorcerers have created only one small defense against hidebehinds: warding crystals that detect the presence of invisibility glamour within a fifty-foot radius, sounding a raucous alarm on activation. Unfortunately the crystals cannot pinpoint the glamour's location within that radius, nor can they distinguish between hidebehinds and youma using invisibility spells. All cities and villages in the Dark Kingdom are "protected" by strategically placed warding crystals, and most youma carry one at all times; as a result, conventional invisibility magics have nearly died out in the Kingdom--anything invisible is attacked on suspicion of sight, no questions asked. Hidebehinds are, fortunately, quite rare; there are, on average, only three reported sightings per year, although no one can be sure just how many youma lost in the wilderness have actually fallen to the Unseen Death. Infrequent hidebehind attacks were reported during the occupation of Earth- Beta; it seems some of the monsters must have slipped through the warpgate. No deliberate attacks on humans ever took place, though any who came in contact with the glamourfields met the same fate as their tormentors. The creatures were termed "Boojums" by human witnesses, after a creature invented by Charles Dodgson in the poem "The Hunting of the Snark." The possibility of hidebehind presence on our own world has never been firmly settled; during the Dark Kingdom incursion (1991-'93) at least twenty youma troopers were reported as MIA, but nearly all were later traced to the activities of Captain Ferrite's then-current incarnation, Robert "Trenchcoat Mask" Davis. Four disappearances remain unsolved, but the absence of attacks on the Renegades and their descendants makes it unlikely that the invisible avengers ever established a presence here. JUNDROOT: A common tuber, resembling a heavily armored potato. The "root" of the jundplant grows layers of organic armor as a defense against burrowing creatures; new layers of shell are deposited on the tuber's exterior while the inner layers break down into nitrogen-fixing tissue. Pinpoint holes in the armor allow root fibers to contact soil. Cracking the shell, which has half the tensile strength of steel, is more than worth the effort. Baked, fried, or mashed, jundroot has a nutty, garlicky taste that has become popular worldwide. We are fortunate that this unassuming vegetable adapted so well to Earthly conditions. KAROUTH: A mushroom common to Sherath. When the four-inch-wide cap is dried, karouth takes on a crumbly texture and sugary flavor (sickly-sweet by human standards, reminiscent of carob). In this state it keeps well and is used as a quick snack. An unsuspecting human could easily mistake a karouth cap for a poorly-made sugar cookie. KHR'VORLL: The original inhabitants of the World of Exile. Few accurate records were ever made of these creatures, and most of those were destroyed by command of Queen Beryl; only fragments remain. As far as can be told, the khr'vorll were once members of a starfaring civilization. They, like our own race, generated an extradimensional vortex of negative psychic energy (popularly termed 'the Abyss'); at some point in khr'vorll history one among them managed to tap into this wellspring of dark power, and became their equivalent of the Dark Queen Metallia. As with Metallia, the khr'vorll demonlord was eventually banished into its Abyss; its followers were marooned on a desolate world, and that world itself sent into a pocket dimension from which no Abyss could be reached. Centuries later, when Queen Serenity used the Ginzuishou to exile Beryl and her corrupted armies, the Crystal apparently discovered the khr'vorll dimension and opted to save energy by sending the Arcadians there rather than creating another prison world. As the only sentient inhabitants were just as demon-tainted as Beryl's forces, this posed no great ethical quandary. Abyssal lords are enemies by nature; as incarnations of all their species' evil, each one wants nothing less than absolute control over everything it hasn't actually destroyed, which leaves no real room for negotiation. Thus, when Metallia realized her new world was inhabited by a rival's minions, she immediately took steps to neutralize them; in her last moments of conscious- ness, the Demon Queen tapped into most of Shaizaar's mana wells and altered their flow to deprive the khr'vorll mages of nearly all their power. Even stripped of magic, the natives still far outnumbered the invading Arcadians; Beryl and her Generals, however, had sufficient power and skill to hold off the initial assaults, creating a massive forcewall around their landing site while the armies searched for a more defensible position. With most of the world's magic at their command, the Four had little trouble keeping Arcadian territory clear; over the next three centuries, the Dark Kingdom's foothold in Shaizaar steadily expanded. After the first hundred years of failure, the khr'vorll abandoned open conflict and went underground while their mages attempted to retake the mana wells; two hundred and seventy- three years after the invasion, they came out of hiding and the Final War began. Unfortunately for the aborigines, the Arcadians had by this time fully evolved into youma. While the khr'vorll once again wielded High Magic, they were simply no match for an entire race of demonic beings; the War lasted less than three years, and the last alien died within two years thereafter. The race would, however, have its revenge. The last khr'vorll stronghold numbered among its defenders the mightiest wizards their species had to offer; with the end of their strength, the aliens called down a terrible curse on the invaders. This world that they had taken would never accept them; all that lived would be the instruments of vengeance; every tooth and claw would be turned against the youma, and the world would become a vision of Hell. This Great Curse did not quite come to pass; Beryl's magic partially countered its force. Nonetheless, over the next two centuries, many formerly harmless native species rapidly evolved into creatures intrinsically hostile to youma: gardinels, dire butterflies, zuggernauts, Deadwalker beetles, and quite a few others, collectively known as Curse-spawn. In the aftermath of the War, Queen Beryl ordered the destruction of every trace of khr'vorll culture and had all mention of their existence stricken from official historical records. Merely mentioning them in public earned the unwise speaker death by torture. Her reasons remain unclear; it is most likely that she wished to avoid any possibility of contact with the aliens' demonic patron. One overambitious youma had attempted rebellion a few decades before, and any possibility of outside aid had to be squelched. This edict remained in force for the next five centuries, by which time Metallia's subliminal genetic loyalty programming was fully operational. No clear record of the khr'vorlls' physical form exists; the most complete work found simply calls them "an insane amalgam of praying mantis, slug, and lionfish." One text, written in the last stages of the War, documents the interrogation/torture of a captured wizard, who declared that its demon lord-- apparently known as the Ghost of Death--would have revenge, not only on the youma but on the race that spawned them. We can but hope that the Ghost remains imprisoned for all time. KRISTHA FUNGUS: This fungus was one of the few cultivatable crops on Shaizaar, and served as the staple food in the Kingdom. A dirty white in color, it grows in circular slabs to a thickness of approximately four inches. When it has reached the limits of its vertical growth, it begins radial expansion. The new ring grows to the same thickness as the whole and the process repeats. Its virtues are numerous; hardy and easily grown by the most inept gardener, it was the perfect choice for youma who did not wish to risk the predatory wildlife outside the shielded areas in the search for food. Nutritious for both youma and humans, either race could survive indefinitely on a diet of nothing but kristha; however, they would find very limited enjoyment in such a diet. The negative aspect of the fungus is its taste, or lack thereof. To describe it as bland is to exaggerate the flavor. It has been compared unfavourably to mass-produced processed white bread. Youma forced to subsist on a diet of kristha without condiments inevitably went into berserker rages, ending only when they had gorged themselves on anything other than kristha or they had been chopped into small pieces and combusted. As a sidenote, after Shaizaar-Beta assumed control of Earth-Beta, kristha became the staple food of the human race. The imposition of eternal darkness over the terrestrial land-masses crippled existing agriculture and made it necessary for the youma to introduce a crop that could both thrive under these conditions and be consumed by the enslaved humans. Anecdotal evidence supplied by the Renegades suggests that humans forced to subsist on a diet consisting solely of kristha invariably rioted, despite the consequences of defying the youma. Kristha translates variously as either boring, dull, or unappetizing. KTAR BEETLE: By terrestrial standards a large arthropod, full-grown specimens could reach a size of 3' and a weight of 50-70 pounds. A native of the Hardlands, the omnivorous beetles subsist on a diet of fungus, lichen and small arthropods. Described as the Dark Kingdom's closest equivalent to lobster, it was prepared in a similar fashion. The traditional method of cooking Ktar was to place it in a very large pot (smaller villages had a communal steamer), one-quarter filled with water, then raise the temperature of the water to the boiling point and steam the beetle to death. Unlike lobster, Ktar are extremely vocal in protesting their fate, which can lead the squeamish to use the second method of preparation. According to Sailor Polaris's notes, the water is boiled first; then the cook punches a dowel into the center of the triangle formed by the beetle's three eyes to a depth of two inches. This penetrates the brain casing, causing instant and painless death, at which point the beetle is immediately placed in the pot and steamed. Given that Ktar chitin is stronger than jundroot casing (qv), this blithely makes the assumption that the chef possesses superhuman strength. Gourmets have repeatedly claimed that this method is markedly inferior to the traditional, as the hormones released by the Ktar during its prolonged death throes add a piquancy to the flavor. The flesh of Ktar is meatier than lobster and possesses a natural spiciness that has led some to dub it "Cajun crab." In conversation Sailor Polaris admitted that she had eaten traditionally prepared Ktar numerous times, but in those cases it was cooked by the less sentimental other Renegades. LARNUMA: A small groundhugging plant whose beans can be processed into a form of vegetable oil, bearing a close resemblance to Earthly sesame oil. LICHEN: Countless species of lichen adorn the rocks of Shaizaar, able to survive in even the harshest environments. Many varieties have proven useful; dried and powdered, they can serve as reasonably flavorful condiments (see Cailla). Powdered jhelk lichen is used as a crude but effective flour, producing plain, hearty breads. MIMIC FUNGUS: The only fungoid of Shaizaar known to absorb the ambient magical energy of the environment. Believed to be a prime example of a life- form redesigned by the Great Curse (qv). A mottled blue in color, it closely resembles morshi fungus; they can be told apart by the deeper hue of the mimic. In addition to a normal fungoid growth pattern using magical energy, mimic fungus also acts as a predator. On sensing nearby vibration, the fungus auto- matically reshapes part of itself into grasping limbs and attempts to seize the source. Should it succeed, the victim is drawn into the fungus and held in place; weak acids are exuded by the fungus surface, breaking the immobilized prey into useful nutrients over a prolonged period. When subjected to kinetic energy, the fungus discharges magic; if it suffers sufficient impacts to bleed off all its energy, it loses its ability to form limbs. It remains inert until it has again ansorbed sufficient power from the environment. The name origin- ated from the fact that the limbs formed appear to be copied from previous victims of the fungus. If care is taken, mimic can be harvested and used in a variety of dishes; in flavour it is the closest Shaizaarian equivalent to the common mushroom. It is advisable to remember that small quantities of the raw fungus will absorb magic and form limbs even after separation from the central mass; it is recommended to open stored supplies with care, and to have a bat, hammer, or other blunt object to pacify the fungus should the need arise. Once subjected to even minor heat, the fungus dies and loses all mobility. MORSHI FUNGUS: A gourmet food on Shaizaar, as it only grows in close proximity to its more dangerous cousin, mimic fungus (qv). The taste is somewhat nutlike with a hint of green onion and oregano. ROTWEED: A flowering plant found on the fringes of the Velkarth tundra. Like all Shaizaar vegetation, rotweed is bright red; to deter herbivores, it secretes an unpleasant ichor redolent of rotting flesh. This is actually attractive to many youma, but the ichor's taste does not live up to the scent. Once washed clean, however, the stalks are palatable and nutritious. SALT: Slower students occasionally ask us what business salt has in recipes from an alien world. We would like to take this opportunity to remind the reader that salt is a *mineral*, found in subterranean deposits, and is as common on Shaizaar as on Earth--and as vital to youma physiology as to human. SCREAMERTREE: Confined to a small forest several miles east of Kel Shaizaar, these uniquely vocal trees ward off voracious herbivores by constantly emitting noises reminiscent of the wails of tortured humans. Youma find the screams relaxing, and the area is considered something like a national park. The vocalizations are produced by vibrating membranes stretched between lower brances, operating after the fashion of stereo speakers. Several local carnivores, most notably reaper mantises, are unfazed by the wailing and use the forest as shelter; screamertree fruit is tailored to their tastes, re- semblng in both taste and texture the thyroid glands of Earthly cattle--hence its common name, sweetbreadfruit. SCULLIUGH: A puffball fungus, growing to a height of 3-4 feet. Difficult to cultivate and rare in the wild, sculliugh is prized for its rich flavor. SHAIWORT: A slime fungus of the Pallid Jungle, shaiwort is used as both a flavoring and a thickening agent. The slimes (actually colonies of microscopic, mobile fungi) are scraped from the ground and heated lightly, killing them and altering their consistency to "ichor." SWEETBREADFRUIT: see Screamertree. THAROUVE: A thick green mushroom wine originating from Tharouve Province in northern Sherath. I have had the privilege of tasting a sample of House-of- Sphalerite '02, from the last bottle in this dimension, and can pronounce it far superior to any Earthly vintage. One varietal of note, grown on the outskirts of the Infernal Reach, is named "Bloodwine" in honor of that district's green-blooded governor, General Nephrite. THORNYFRUIT: Product of a small bush found in northern Ghur'dokh, this peachlike fruit takes its name from the extremely sharp thorns grown to repel most herbivores. The plant has a symbiotic relationship with a relative of the Ktar beetle, whose mouthparts are designed to strip the thorns away; while other local herbivores would crack and digest the fruit's seeds, the thornbeetle's digestive system leaves it intact. Youma, of course, have no trouble removing the thorns. UR-PRAWN: The most prominent member of a large family of pseudo- arthropods unique to Shaizaar, the Ur-prawn is found in coastal waters. Ur- prawns, like their lesser cousins, have both exo- and endoskeletons; this allows for greater strength and flexibility than any Earthly arthropod possesses. Unlike others, Ur-prawns never stop growing; most die before reaching fifteen feet, but there are scattered reports of truly immense prawns off the continental shelf, some exceeding one hundred yards. Young Ur-prawns feed on krill; with age and increased size, diet shifts to whatever happens to fit into their mouths. VELETH: A large (4'-5') mushroom found throughout the southeastern provinces. Veleth flesh is extraordinarily poisonous, to such a degree that merely breathing its fumes can cause allergic reactions in weaker youma, but its outsize spores are perfectly edible. The size of short-grain rice, spores are carefully harvested from mature mushrooms and heat-dried to prevent germination. Dried spores will keep for decades; the most common method of preparation is soaking in boiling water. VELKARTH: The northeastern administrative district of the Dark Kingdom; covering all land north of the Metallia's Fangs range, Velkarth is overseen by General Kunzite. There is, on the whole, little to oversee; the district is almost entirely tundra, thinly populated by cold-tolerant youma. A few hardy creatures have adapted to the eternal cold. Jundroot does well even in permafrost, and several varieties of polar prawn thrive both on land and in the turbulent, semi-frozen Shattersea. VOREN: A small purple mushroom native to Sherath and southern Ghur'dokh, thriving in extremely damp conditions. Fresh voren can best be described as soggy, to the extent that many recipes call for squeezing out the liquid (generally referred to as 'bile'). The bile has a distinctive acrid flavor; thoroughly wrung-out mushrooms are somewhat meaty. WIXXEL GREASE: We are both unable and unwilling to provide any sub- stantial information on this, the Dark Kingdom's rough equivalent of butter. When asked about its origins by the Inner Senshi, Sailor Polaris, in all innocence, told them. Their reactions were uncharacteristically uniform: extreme nausea, absolute horror, and the deep desire to be rid of the terrible knowledge. Sailor Moon is reported to have said "I'll never eat ice cream again," which gives anyone familiar with Queen Serenity's tastes some idea of just how much impact it must have had. We have therefore classified wixxel grease under Things Man was Not Meant to Know. (Sailor Moon later used the Ginzuishou to wipe the information from the minds of the Senshi; we note, however, that to this day Serenity faints at the sight of Rocky Road.) -- Sorry, folks, that's all for now. In the first upgrade you can expect details on Nephrite's and Zoisite's cities and districts, Deadwalker beetles (man, those things are *dangerous!*), and other tidbits to be determined later. Note for any 'Call of Cthulhu' gamers reading this: Discovering the true nature of wixxel grease causes 1d6/1d20 SAN loss and adds +2 to Mythos skill. If you have questions or comments, or just want to cast doubt on my sanity, I can be reached at emlurker@ghidora.planetx.org. Seeya! The Evil Midnight Lurker what |E-M-Lurker Dragon|**Spem Successus Alit** /~||~\ Lurks at Midnight (YEAH BABY!)| -==(UDIC)==- |Member, Carlin Institute\ /| / (emlurker@ghidora.planetx.org)|Makoto--Ai--Yuuki| for Yahtzee Theory \\// Babylon 5: One moment of perfect beauty, all alone in the night. <*> LLL! \/