From: Berk Watkins
Subject: Berk Arrives

It was a typical day at Sailor Moon Expanded. Explosions on the back lots that weren't in the script, invaders from outer space that could only say 'HEY!', po'ed Guyvers, po'ed Knight Sabers/Knight Shadows, The Death of Discworld's garnd-daughter making an appearance for no real reason...

Then something somewhat different happened.

Mark Latus ducked behind a life size replica of Godzilla as the

Knight Sabers whizzed by. "One of these days I'll finish Hurricane Season, I promise," he whispered to himself.

Mackie skidded to a halt, spun around and took aim at his negligent author.

Then a VF-19 "Excalibur" landed on his head in Gerwalk mode. A rather average looking guy poked his head over the side of the super jet as the canopy opened. "Sorrie!" he said without a hint of remorse in his voice. "Another perfect three point landing..." he said with a grin as he jumped down.

"Wha...?" Mark muttered.

The new arrival's G-suit retooled around him, turning into blue jeans, a Billy Farnword T-shirt, a well-worn pair of sneakers, wire-frame glasses and a 4th Armored Division uniform jacket (Patton's Division during WWII). "So, Mark, haven't gotten 'em off yer back yet?" he drawled.

"Who're you?"

"The lunatic fringe... Berk' Watkins...you know, that guy who's always bugging you about your BGC stories..."

"Oh no..."

"How ya doin', partner!" Berk said, grabbing Mark's hand like a vice and just about shaking his teeth out with a *firm* handshake.

"You didn't..."

"What?"

"Bring in Chrysolite..."

Berk grinned widely, displaying teeth that would make somebody think he was related to Ryouga...

A tall man in black denim appeared next to Berk' in a flash of static and a BAMPH! "Boss, where do we put your set?"

"Anywhere Remus... There's plenty of space..."

"WHAT!?!" Mark shouted, knowing full well the place was getting crowded.

Remus Kai grinned and started talking into a gauntlet on his left arm. "Alright, guys, bring `er in!"

"Roger!" several voices replied.

A large Slipgate opened in the sky over Sailor Moon Expanded... and something came through.

One of the floating islands from Magic Knight Rayearth.

Berk' snickered, changing his clothes back into a G-suit. "See ya later, I've gotta oversee a few dozen screen tests!" He climbed back into the VF-19 and blasted off.

Mark could swear he could hear Fire Bomber music playing in the distance...

Mackie pulled himself to his feet and growled.

"help meee..." he "The Fly"-ed.

Berk' landed his Valkyrie on the island's VTOL pad and changed back into his working clothes.

Remus appeared in a flash of static.

"Okay, Remus, let's see the candidates..."

Misty Mae walked in.

"Cute... NEXT!"

Rally Vincent...

"See me later, hon..."

BKAM!

"Perhaps not..." he muttered, dusting the powder burns off his T-shirt and retooling the scratches from it. "NEXT!"

Psyche Pendragon-Satori from his now-defunct Star Knights stories. "Wrong hair, and you're too tall... Come back later, I might have something for you in an MKR story..."

"Okay!" she said happily.

"NEXT!"

Someone with a passing resemblance to Naru Osaka walked in.

"Naru Osaka, aren't you playing Sailor Nemesis?"

"I was Molly Baker in the NA dub," she replied, without a trace of accent she sounded a bit depressed. A bad sign.

"Remus... Hack her code..."

"You got it, Boss. Grid command!" he shouted, gesturing at her with the Gauntlet.

Molly turned into a wire-frame.

"Recycle her... I doubt we'll ever see her again in NA, and we could use the paint..."

Remus nodded and went to work.

An hour later Chrysolite a.k.a. Chrystine Phobos walked out of Berk's office.

"Remus, I think we've done it..." Berk murmured over a large cup of coffee.

"She was made for the part..." his Detian assistant agreed.

"The Truth is beyond your understanding, just go for what feels right."

* Berk' "RL-REM" Watkins, Some call me Tim, Gai-Jin Samurai At Large.

From: Becky Malsin
Subject: Re: What is Backstage?

The basic principle of life at our Backstage is everything (except our figures) is bigger than life. Mark is more intellectual, Doug is more stubborn, Berk' is more insane, Andy is more arrogant, Ben and Christian are more hard to find (at least for me), and Sam is more . . . well . . . Sam-like. (The closest thing to Sam is a mad chef, which he is)

And me, you ask? Well . . . I'm slightly silly, emotional and mothering, gruffly clever, and sometimes naive. That ends up with the Backstage me being capricious, moody, and sly as well as weird, an old soul, capable of odd moments of genius, and confused. Quite a bundle of contradictions, neh? And the weirdest thing is that my regular self is becoming more and more like my backstage self.

My companion clears his throat. I turn around to smile at Pyrite.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" I say.

"Yes, whenever my thoughts are in turmoil the essence of pure chaos somehow soothes me. Is that why you came to look?" He smiles a self-deprecating smile.

"Is there any other reason?" God, is Azzie a lucky one. I have no idea why she had such a crush on Calcite when Pyrite was around. Then again I've always preferred the semi-nerds.

I have to wonder why I keep having crushes on Sailor Moon characters. Let's see . . . Nephrite, Ferrite, Magnesite, and Pyrite. I wonder if there's a pattern?

Looking behind me I see the normal SME chaos. As near as I can tell, Sam and his anti-cooks are working on a graxat dinner for four. The only other author not filming is Mark, who's doing another one of his multi-games with Daniel Dumas. Seeing that Pyrite murmurs, "Maybe I should join them."

"Nah, stay. I enjoy your company." I grin at him.

"Thanks" Is he blushing?

"Want to know something funny?" I ask "For a while before I joined

I thought Andy was a girl. I have no idea why. Silly, huh?"

"I heard things that are more ridiculous." Maybe he has. Especially if he's been listening to Usagi's impromptu speeches.

Shit! It's almost like I have a curse, like Ferrite. Why do I always get crushes on the inaccessible ones? "Well . . . I have to meet with a group of my characters. You see they went to Vegas during shooting so I cut out their cameo in R&T's. Now they're delegating."

"I have to meet with Jerry as well. I wouldn't mind talking to you again, though." Beryl's lingerie, he is a chivalrous one. Yes, Azzie is extremely lucky.

Then he walks away, my favorite male renegade. I sigh like the schoolgirl I am. Oh well, he can still be my friend. But sometimes when I look into those amber eyes I wish he were single. Brushing myself off I head down to my meeting. This is SME Backstage after all where everything is larger than life . . .

Becky Malsin

From: Ben Harrison
Subject: Ben Arrives

They typical confusion of the SME back lot was going on Andy Coombs maneuvered through the confusion trying to decided on his next work. As he approached his trailer he was started by something both mundane and unusual.

Now a place that has Youma, Renegades, the occasional Knight Saber and the various Senshi does have many unusual sights. So a truck is both unusual and mundane.

Especially one painted in a camouflaged pattern.

One guarded by about a squad of people in what is officially known as Battledress Utilities. And by two wheeled fighting vehicles.

"Just what is going on here?" Andy shouted?

One of the people approached, he noted that it resumed a 55C in human form. Only this one had a collar device with a lot of strips on it. Andy got a bit nervous and started to look for a few of the Knight Sabers.

"Top Doc's complements to you sir, He hopes you will enjoy this gift." The boomer, because that is what is was, pointed at the truck.

Flowers. Like you see for someone wishing for good luck and similar sentiments. Andy looked the question.

"A while back it was suggested that flower be thrown in your honor. Ben Harrison, who we call Top Doc, thought this might be more appropriate. Also he invites you to the Officers Mess at garrison at your convenience."

"Officers Mess?"

"Yes he has the equivalent to a Battalion Landing Team here to support his writing efforts, we moved around a bit to find a good spot that is also defensible. We've got the engineer detachment to set up some buildings for the Officers Mess and E-club plus some of the other equipment. Top Doc has kept a tent for himself though."

"Mess, as in food?"

"Oh yes, we're not all boomers in the unit, although the we can all eat. Also he's had some modifications done so you don't have to worry about any of us going on rampages. Maybe a few bar-room brawls, but hey half the MP's will also be boomers so no worries."

"Hey Gunny, you know where to put these yet?" came a call from one of the others, a normal human or maybe a S33.

"Sir?"

Wordlessly Andy pointed to a spot.

"Right OK Jones you saw where, get your rear in gear and move it!!"

"Aye Aye Gunny!!!"

After the flowers where unloaded the Gunny turned back to Andy. "Oh and if you need extra security or even just a work force, we are available." With that he saluted, got into one of the Wheeled fighting vehicles and a three vehicles drove off.

"This place gets weirder all the time.

From: Mark Latus
Subject: Backstage at SME : It's A Wrap!
Date: Tue, 22 Jul 1997 15:19:08 -0400

It's cramped in here but I've committed myself to wait for the right moment to make my dramatic entrance. I can hear their footsteps in the corridor as they head for this room. Everything's ready for them. There's babble outside then somebody pushes open the door.

Calcite steps in followed by Pyrite, looks like they got picked to check out if it's worth attending. They take in the room and look impressed. They should be, it cost a fortune. Two bars, a buffet that could feed an army and a DJ sitting behind a state of the art sound system. Across the ceiling stretches a banner reading "Free At Last!" Pyrite gives a low whistle.

"What a spread! I was afraid he'd cut corners." Calcite nods.

"Likewise. But I guess he figures with Kingdom Come already over budget and late opening why stint yourself when it comes to the cast party?" With that he turns to gives the all clear and everyone piles into the room.

Ami exults at not having to spend hours in makeup every time Hermes has a scene. Ti's cheering getting to stick to her normal wardrobe again. The girls are all happy not to be playing the Greek versions any more. Matter of fact everyone's glad no more double shots. Magnesite's still grumbling that in Kingdom he came across as if he was based on Rodney Dangerfield rather than Bogie but that's the only sour note.

Ti and the senshi head for the bar and Margrave moves in to block them. "Hold it girls, you're still a little young to drink."

There's a lot of grumbling until Ti produces a 5-yen coin. "Not a problem." Margrave groans and ducks behind Calcite as the DKR shield themselves. Magnesite hasn't noticed which is too bad for him. Ti raises the coin and all the girls chant in unison.

"HINAKO FIVE YEN POWER, MAKE UP!"

With that they morph into their adult forms. No matter how many times I seem them do that it always spooks me. The now legal senshi head for the bar casting longer shadows. By contrast Magnesite is a lot smaller. Unlike normal drainees he doesn't get thin and wisplike. Instead he gets short and superdeformed. He begins muttering that he gets no respect, no respect I tell ya! It doesn't help his mood that the girls think he looks cute.

A little later Azurite's looking at the picture on the far wall. A tall, thin guy of about 30 standing next to a girl about six inches shorter. Both are grinning at the photographer and have their arms around one another. "Who's this?"

Margrave looks surprised she doesn't know. "That's the happy couple. Our esteemed director's brother and sister-in-law-to-be. The reason we're finally having this little party."

Azurite raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yup, personal deadline. He swore he'd finish shooting before attending their wedding. He's pretty close to the wire as his flight's Thursday but he made it."

I start preening until Azurite frowns and asks, "I thought he swore to finish TKC before his vacation in May?"

"Yup. Before that it was going to be end of March at the latest. This is the first deadline he's kept. At least he's learned to keep quiet about announcing them. That way no one else knows he keeps missing them." She grins, "Except us."

Azurite nods then looks around the room. "Where is he anyway?"

That's my cue. A rose strikes the floor and I launch myself out of the air vent thankful I had it dusted. I could have hidden in the closet but that would give rise to too many bad jokes.

"It's.... TUXEDO LATUS?" Everyone turns to look.

I manage to land without fracturing my ankles and intone, "Art is like a girl's love. It should not be rushed for budgetary considerations."

"..."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

I have to admit, "I'm not really sure but it sounds like something Mamoru would say." Usagi sticks her tongue out and the crowd turns back to what they were doing before my big entrance. Hrump! I was expecting a little more interest.

Azurite asks, "So what's with the penguin suit?"

"Well since I got it for the wedding I figured I might as well try it out. Do you have any idea how hard it is to rent one with matching cape, mask, hat, cane and concealed rose holster?"

"..." She shakes her head and walks away. Margrave gets offended when I ask her to avoid getting cat hair on my tux and stalks off. I really am making friends and influencing people tonight.

I circulate through the party answering a few questions about final editing and listening politely to their suggestions until Makoto waves me over. She's sitting with Ami and they've got a few questions of their own.

Mako nods at D.R. & Quinch who've just arrived. "Why'd you cast them? They're pretty obscure these days?"

"Because Milk and Cheese wanted too much money and the camera angles would have been tricky. They're not working much lately so I got them cheap. Besides I like them and don't like seeing them fade in to obscurity."

"Fair enough. Ami's got a question."

"Yes, it's about the sequel..." Uh oh! "First of all will I still have the scars?'

"Uh, yes. It's sort of integral..."

She rolls her eyes. "Great! Hours more in makeup. Secondly, about that last bit concerning the rules of the universe changing back..."

"Yes?"

"Well, what does that mean. Hermes is a dead serious character. I don't see her working in a normal SM world."

"Well that's sort of the point..." Now how to explain ...? Aha! "Okay Ami, stand up and do some Hermes dialogue." After a second she shrugs and looks grim.

"I thought things were as bad as they could possibly get. I was a fool, it had barely begun!"

The custard pie takes her right in the face leaving her dripping yellow and sputtering.

"See, it'll sort of be like that. Hermes is trying to be grim, gritty and angst ridden but the world has gone silly again. So there will be bits like this as she loses her dignity. Or she goes overboard and over reacts to things. For example Seiya, not having Usagi to chase, falls for Ami. So in the 1996 episode he tries to steal a kiss and you break his arm in three places. And so forth. Get it?"

"Yes!" Ami's wiped the custard off and is looking very Hermes like. "Now let me show you a little something I call 'Shining Aqua Illusion'!"

After I dig myself out of the snow bank I find the party has moved. It got a bit too cold in here so they grabbed the food and the booze and left to find a new spot. Ungrateful bunch! I'd chase them down but I've got to get my tuxedo dry cleaned before Thursday. So I salute the picture of the happy couple and hope we don't get snow in Newfoundland this weekend. It is July and usually June is the latest that happens.

With that I wander for the portal back to Halifax whistling,

"Farewell to Nova Scotia"

Mark

From: Rachel Herndon
Subject: LIFE MIMICS ART

Somewhere in a small corner of the SME lot, a small gray building sat peacefully among the massive soundstages. "TA-DA!" echoed from the open window, followed by maniacal laughter.

Across the street at the commissary, a small group of the SME Players looked up from their lunches. "Hmm... Our portraits must be finished." said Ami.

"You think so?" asked Tom.

"Ah dinna know... let's go see, shall we?" said Fi, getting up. She waved at the waitress, pointing at her plate. "Pardon me, can Ah get this haggis to go?"

"I don't know how you can eat that stuff." Ami smiled as she and Fi left.

"Boy, if we had a nickel for every time we heard THAT..." Titanite grinned at Azurite from their corner booth. "Well, shall we go see your new portrait?"

Azurite shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

The players crossed the street in a small group, and entered the gallery.

"Oh, there you are!" said the resident artist, dusting the corner of a frame.

"Tom, Ami- here's your picture- what do you think?"

Tom and Ami studied the picture of Star Hunter and Princess Cognistance. "I don't know, do you think black's my color?" Ami asked Tom.

"Well, Frank Barr said the Mercurians wore blues and blacks in TM chapter three..." the artist interjected.

"Oh..." said Tom. He turned to Ami. "Does my hair really do that?"

"I don't think so," said Ami.

"Yes, well, fine. Azurite? What do you think?" said the artist.

"I don't think his hair does that either," said Azurite.

"I mean about the picture of Sailor Arcturus," said the artist, crossing her arms.

"Oh, I like it..." said Azurite, cocking her head. "No, really, I do!"

"Oh, yeah, it's a lot better than the other one..." said Titanite helpfully.

Azurite elbowed her. "I mean, uh..."

"What?! What was wrong with the other one?" the artist asked exasperatedly.

"Well... Blue eye shadow?" Azurite asked tentatively.

The artist scowled, crossing her arms. "You're critiquing MY taste? C'mon Azurite, a red fuku and leather accessories? Your look is way too cluttered.

Something simpler, like a-"

Azurite scowled back at the artist. "Like a trench coat? I knew it! You do like Ferrite and Magnesite best!" Titanite grimaced. Across the gallery, Tom and Ami quietly went slipped out...

"Hey, that's just ridiculous!" said the artist, then looked around, realizing she was standing in front of the huge completed triad of Ferrite/Trenchcoat Mask wall panels, and a bulging folder full of Magnesite sketches was spilling across her work desk to the left. "Um, well... anyway, that's just my style!"

"I don't believe it!" Azurite said in a long-suffering tome. "First the Margrave Fan Club, now this! I can't get a break."

"Aww, c'mon big sister, let's go have some hot cocoa... you'll feel better..." Titanite grabbed Azurite's arm and led her out of the gallery.

The artist sighed, shrugged and turned to Fi. "Well?"

"Ah think my portrait's very nice," said Fi, smiling. "...Considering how long Ah sat for it..." she added quietly. "Well, Ah'll see you around!" she said, heading for the door.

"Oh, thank you... yes, actually" the artist said, smiling. "You'll be coming in next week with the rest of the Younger Senshi for some preliminary work on the group portrait." she continued blithely, looking through her sketches and not noticing the sick look on Fi's face. "It'll take quite a while- weeks, maybe! -for the whole thing to come together, but..."

The artist looked up from her desk. "Fi?" She crossed to the door. "Fi?" She smiled, amused despite herself. "Those characters... They're worse than Usagi when it comes to sitting still for portraits, and you can't bribe any of them except Ti with food... I think they get spoiled by all those cool action sequences, and dramatic scenes." She shook her head. "But then, that's why I like them isn't it?" she mused. "Hmm, what next?" she said, turning to her desk. "Rhi and Ti, Naru and Magnesite from Case of the Missing Senshi, and some shots from Bad Moon Rising... right. That'll keep me occupied for a while."

Happily, she set back to work, every so often gazing at the three new portraits wryly. "Well, it makes ME happy." she finally said, doodling an giant SD-Jadeite atop a tiny GENOM building.

She giggled.

THE END.

From: Frank Barr
Subject: Meanwhile in the Sailor Moon Expanded back lot...

"How long are we going to be slogging through this swap?" Hotaru shouted.

"CUT!" I shouted scrunching my eyes closed tiredly. It had been a hard shoot. Ferrite and Hotaru had been trying to get the opening shot of my untitled Saturn-Ferrite flashback just right and no matter how many times I shot it, I couldn't get the opening scene down. It' s really hard when you write SM fanfic as a series of scenes.

"... I said, " Hotaru said only inches from my glazed over eyes, "how much $%^#^%#$ longer are you going to have us *@#$% slogging through this @#%$ swamp?"

"Yeah," Ferrite adds his two cents worth, "we've been at this for months and it's all, "will you try it again with more weariness, Ferrite?" or "No Hotaru, hold the glaive higher." and stuff. When do we get some real dialog?"

She rounds on Ferrite and growls, "Well at least you get to get out and film some shots on SiM Jupiter. Me? I'm stuck here ankle deep in fetid water."

"Big whoop!" Ferrite sneers, "Getting called away to haul an air-shark carcass around a Jovian city set in the middle of the day ain't much to brag about."

"AT LEAST YOUR FEET ARE DRY!" Hotaru shouted almost losing it, "I've had my boots full of water for the last three months!" She then turns her fury back on me and says, "You'd better get some ideas real quick, Barr, or I make like Lorana Bobbit with the Silence Glaive, capiche?"

"Heh!" I laugh nervously, "I'm sure I'll think of something." I say looking around for any distraction. Then, Sherlyn's scrip girl, Droid Darkfruit or whatever her name is, comes in with my video copy of CoG with a post-it note attached. The last few sentences catch my eye:

> Which reminds me, Frank, are you

>writing that dread pirate Robert in Saturn bit? I've got this idea...

I tear it off like a man grabbing a life preserver and hold it before Hotaru. "I just need to do a little collaboration first," I say to the furious Hotaru.

"Sherylins involved?" She asks dampening her temper.

I nod rapidly.

She noticeably cools and says, "I'd better have some decent lines in the final version, or else!"

"Shakespeare would approve of what I'm planning," I say reassuringly.

She steps off the swamp set and stomps soggily to her trailer. Just as she's about to close the door, she whirls around and adds, "And you'd better not say I have a secret crush on Ferrite in the finished product"

"Right," I smile woodenly.

The door slams and I mutter, "So much for that story line." I look at the post-it note again and say, "I wonder what Sherlyn has in mind..."

FDB

From: Sherlyin Lim

I frowned as I sat back in my director's chair, twirling the phone cord, "Hotaru doesn't want a secret crush on Ferrite? Are you sure? Maybe she's just shy..."

"..."

"...she definitely does not want the secret crush...sigh, okay. Hold on while I trash about six pages of unwanted mush." Shaking my head sorrowfully, I reached over to my desk and grabbed the few notes I'd already made in my SME folder and stuck it into my shedder. "What did you do to get them so riled anyway?" I asked idly, watching the shedder eat its way through my first big love scene idea.

Damn, I really liked that Hotaru and Ferrite idea.

The voice on the other end shouted for a while, "..."

"What? But it's in Saturn, I thought they're *supposed* to slog through the swamp?"

"..."

"Oh. Three months, same scene. Uhuh, now it makes sense."

"..."

"Ideas? Well, one thing's for sure, get Hotaru out of the swamp set fast before she blows. Hmm, can't really get out of the swamp bits, can we?"

"..."

"Thought not. Tell you what, how about we start off with Ferrite in his ship on the way to Saturn, that will make him happier. We could, hmm, give a perspective on why he focused on DPR (That's Dread Pirate Roberts) and maybe some emoting about his lost love over Aphrodite. You know, the normal bits, "Implacable determination gleamed in his eyes as he waited impatiently for the ship to dock in Saturn's harbor.." That kind of stuff. Then arrival on Saturn. For Hotaru... I know! I've got that Saturn Insane bit, I could push it later in the timeline, make it a Hotaru's POV when her predecessor blew up the asteroid belt."

"..."

"I know, I know, it's a Ferrite flashback, but you want Hotaru happy, don't you? I'll shoot that and get Hotaru out of the swamps for a few days. We don't have to include that bit in the final editing. In fact, I might have some use for it later. Then we could go back to the swamps. I presume that Ferrite will go visit the Saturnites. For guides to the swamp, if nothing else. Yeah, he could meet Hotaru then."

"..."

"Yeah, we could. Get Ferrite to do the commentary on the destruction of the Asteroids. While Hotaru starts on what she thinks of finks who tries to hide in Saturn's swamps."

"..."

"I'm still hurting over that Hotaru love scene though. Maybe we can cook something up. Hold on a sec, I just thought of something." I grab the still open SME folder and flipped through the pages, "I've got it. Remember chapter 5 where Ferrite makes the comment where love strikes everywhere but him? We could get a cute officer from Ferrite's ship to fall in lurve with Hotaru. Gotta set it up perfectly, or it won't scan."

"..."

"Well, think about it."

"..."

"Alright, get back to me with this one, okay? Then there's the swamp,"

"..."

"She threatened you with WHAT?! My G.O.D.! She is angry with you, isn't she? Well, she could blow off some steam with the climax where they face off with DPR. Make it a real whammy of a climax."

"..."

"Yeah, sure, we can split the budget costs. I've still got some left over from the ones I've filmed so far. The advantages of shooting short simple stories, you seldom have cost overruns."

"Actually, we could have the love segment coinciding with actual climax of the capture of DPR. Get the officer to jump out in front of Hotaru to save her, while Ferrite tries to shoot DPR."

"..."

"Look at Shampoo and Mousse. Sure the girl can protect herself, but when a guy would sacrifice his life for her... I dunno, it just works."

"Yeah, well, I've gotta go. Think about it and contact me again. Take care. And tell Hotaru that I'll take it as a personal favour if she doesn't hurt you for the next week or so."

"...!@$"

"Hey, my influence can only go so far you know. 'sides, one week is better than nothing. Okay, gotta run. Take care and bye!" I hang up and run for the common room, if I really hurry, maybe I could catch the ending bit of Battle Angel Alita.

Sherlyn

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More arrivals to our crew, such nostalga

FDB 02/27/02