The thunderstorm was one of the ugliest Tendou Akane had ever seen.
The thunder would had woke her up, even if the muffled shouts from the yard
hadn't. Heh. The baka looked like he was fighting off burgulars. Maybe he
was useful for something.
	Then again, Ranma could use all the help he could get, show-off
prodigy or not. She started to move out to give him some aid against the
presumed robber. Kasumi, who was watching with her, attempted to disuade
her. Akane almost obeyed her older sister. Almost.
	Sometimes fate hangs by a delicate balance. One motion in either
direction can upset the scale enough that a pattern that was brewing would
be immediately thrown into chaos.
	For Tendou Akane this was one of those times.
	Akane broke free of Kasumi's light grip and ran accross the yard.
Gearing up for the usual task of booting someone into the lower
stratosphere, it was posible that it might have crossed her mind that for
once she was about to lay her own brand of Divine Retribution on someone
other than her unwilling fiancee. If it did, that thought did not stay in
the forefront of her consciousness very long.
	Akane's foot found her target and did its work at kicking the
"thief" out of the way. As her toes connected with her victim's side, she
finally got a look at the man she was in the process of removing from the
grounds of the Tendou Dojo. Her eyes widened.
	A uranium-cast umbrella clattered to the ground.
	"It was Ryouga?" she wondered out loud.


Insane Banana Productions
in association with

The Niichuan Ninja Foundation for Kunoichi
and
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
presents

Ranma's Piglet: A Ranma Nibun no Ichi Divergence
written by Becky Malsin

Chapter One: "Or Would You Like to Be a Pig?"


	Ranma-chan nodded. "Yeah. Yanked me outta bed an' everythin'."
	Akane raised an eyebrow. "He's that hung up on bread?"
	Her companion shrugged. "I guess so. There is one other thing,
though. Ryouga said somethin' 'bout following me to China just before you
ran out. He coulda met a Joketsuzoku."
	"A Joketsu-what?"
	"Something you're better off not knowing, Akane."
	Gah. He was being patronising again. "Anything else he could have
run into back there?"
	"Lessee . . . there was that dragon's whisker porridge, there was
this odd woman with three eyes, and the guide mentioned a couple other
things. Stuff like bird people, an island of men, a prince of pickled
veggies, men who mate with Nyaniichuan-cursed beasts, and a cow-monster
with pantyhose for a scarf."
	Akane boggled. He had to be exaggerating. "It can't be that weird
in China! I mean, this is China we're talking about, not Tomobiki! He
probably just fell into a Jyusenkyou spring and got a worse curse than you
did."
	Her fiance made a motion of pondering that. "That does make sense,
Akane, but whaddabout him attacking me in the rain?"
	Heh. That was the weak point in her theory. "Anyways, I think you
should take some time to soak in the furo. I'll go and make sure that
Ryouga's gone." And if he was still there, Akane resolved, she'd shave his
head. That would teach him to give her such a bad cut!
	With suprising meekness, Ranma assented to her wishes and walked
back towards Kasumi and the door. As soon as he was inside, Akane trudged
off to see if there was any trace of that butcherer of hair folicles.
	Suprisingly enough, the bandanna'd brute had left his backpack near
the koi pond. Also, there seemed to be a pile of men's clothing next to it.
Either the bread-obsessed one was a streaker, or Akane's hypothosis had
been proven right.
	Akane let a smile appear on her face. She loved it when she was right.

	Saotome Ranma was returning from his soak in the furo when he saw
the little piglet. It was black and wore a bandana on its neck that
reminded Ranma of Ryouga. Ranma rolled his eyes. Kamisama, his former
classmate was stubborn! Challenge after challenge and for what? To make up
for stolen bread, which wasn't even really stolen. It wasn't like someone
had labeled each sandwitch with "RYOUGA'S SANDWITCH-- DON'T TOUCH!!"
	Well, he had led Ryouga into the weirdness of China, so Ranma
supposed that the lost boy had a little more reason to seek revenge. That
brought the question of what exactly had happened to Ryouga to the
forefront. Ranma had meditated on the problem during his entire soak and
had finally put his finger on Ryouga's problem.
	It was quite simple, actually. Ranma was suprised it had taken his
so long to think it up. What Ranma had surmised was this: after Ranma had
left the man with the dragon whisker porridge, he had found another whisker
and made another batch. Along came Ryouga, naturally hungry from hunting
Ranma, and he gulps down that batch of porridge.
	Hair explodes from his head! The old guy with the whisker grabs
another whisker and has Ryouga tie it around his head. Ryouga, then, layers
bandana after bandana over the dragon whisker so no one else knows about
the unfotunate porridge. Also, Ryouga burns with even more desire for
revenge on Ranma.
	He, Saotome Ranma, was a genius.
	And, although it wasn't very manly to mention it, the little piglet
with a bandanna like Ryouga's was very kawaii.
	Ranma had never had a pet. Oyaji had never let him, what with all
the moving around the two did. Before the Nekoken, he used to play with the
neighbors'c-c-c . . . C-things, but . . .
	He didn't want to think about it.
	Ranma extended his hand to the wet piglet. "Nice buta, good buta."
It snapped at him. "Ite!" He took a deep breath and reached a little
farther, getting his fingers behind the piglet's ears. He stroked it.
	At first it still glared at him in that same hostile manner, but
soon it softened. "Yes, you are a good buta, a good kobuta." The piglet was
bweeing in a way that almost sounded like purring  . . . maybe that wasn't
such a good way to describe the noises. Ranma gingerly grabbed it, then
brought it to his chest.
	"You like Ranma, don't you? You like your Ranma-chichi." Or
Ranma-haha, for that matter. No matter what coarser names he had for his
own parents, he'd teach his piglet good manners.
	There was a weary voice behind his head. "What do you have there,
Ranma?"
	He turned. Akane. Very wet. Very tired. The rainwater was
plastering her clothes onto her that he was sure he shouldn't be thinking
about.
	"This is my new pet, Kobuta!" he said, in a tone of voice that he
immediately felt would go better with his female form.
	"You named him 'piglet?'" his fiancee asked.
	"It could be a 'her.'"
	"You haven't checked?" Akane seemed suprised. "Hold him up, so we
can get a look at him." Ranma obliged her. "A male." No wonder Kobuta was
getting a nosebleed. An Akane in wet clothing was something that made him
think of doing the same thing, even though her figure was less than his.
Even if she was the biggest tomboy in Nerima.
	Well, kawaii-ness wasn't the only thing that made a girl appealing.
"Think I should keep it?"
	"You? Mister Macho keep a kawaii little pet?"
	"And who's th'expert on macho, nee Akane?" His fiancee brought her
fist up warningly. "Me, of course!" Ranma finished, quickly.
	"Good." Akane shook her head. "I'd have never pegged you for the
type that likes kawaii little animals."
	Ranma shrugged. "I just like animals. They're better than people,
sometimes. Maybe most of the time. Animals don't wrap you in salmon and
throw you into a pit of c-c-c-c . . ."
	"Crocodiles?"
	"No. Ca-ca-ca . . ."
	"Aah, _camels_."
	"No! You know, n-n-n-n . . ."
	"Nymphomaniacs?"
	"I wish. Ne-ne-ne-ne . . ."
	"Necrophiliacs?"
	"No, no, no! I just can't say it! I've tried and tried and tried! I
say it in Eigo, I stumble. I say it in Nihongo, I stumble. Those damn,
damn, damn c-c-c . . . C-things."
	Ranma felt ashamed of himself. He was close to bawling like a baby
and over what? Over C-things. What does not kill us . . .
	Akane had this odd sort of expression on her face, almost
compassionate. "Saotome-ojisan must have really done something to you, to
make you so afraid of whatever it is."
	"It made me stronger!" Ranma protested, leaping to his Oyaji's
defense instinctively.
	"Bull," Akane replied. "Loosing fights makes you stronger. Training
makes you stronger. Being tortured does not make you stronger." She was
silent for a moment. "Ranma, it was Genma, right? The one who did whatever?"
	"H-h-hai . . ."
	"Why didn't you report him to the authorities?"
	Ranma sighed. "It's complicated. I'll tell you later, okay?"
	Akane nodded. The expression on her face was unreadable. Then,
"Ranma? Would you like me to give Kobuta a bath?"
	Ranma blinked. "Sure? Why?"
	"Because I'll be taking mine in a matter of minutes. Because it's
something nice to do."
	"Oh." He smiled at her, shyly, and was rewarded tenfold with a
slightly crooked glimmer of sunshine.

	Akane stripped, lathered and poured the bucket of cold water over
her head. Absentmindedly, she sang a lullaby.

	"Kaeru no uta ga
		This is the frog song
	 Kikoete kuru yo
		Listen to them at night
	 Kwa kwa kwa kwa
		Croak croak croak croak
	 Kero kero kero kero
		Ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit
	 Kwa kwa kwa
		Croak croak croak"

	"Kaeru no uta ga . . ."
	Drop Kobuta into the water first and --
	The cute little piggy stretched out and took a familiar shape.
	A man's shape. No, a boy's. Ryouga's.
	Hibiki Ryouga. The jerk who had butchered her hair. Akane wondered
why she hadn't noticed it before. Kobuta and Ryouga had the same bandanna.
	Akane opened her mouth to scream--
	--and felt calloused hands close around it and her waist.
	"Giri," hissed the shapeshifting boy. "Swear by giri you won't tell."
	Giri. There were many different forms of being bound by honor. Giri
was the most stringent. A giri promised could never be broken without
rendering one honorless.
	Honor was everything to the martial artist. Even to a student of
Unclassified Martial Arts.
	Akane tried struggling against Ryouga's arms. It was no use. The
boy was immovable. She was strong, but not that strong. If she had been a
little faster --
	-- like Ranma. Akane realised that even the show-off wasn't this
strong. If he had been locked into Ryouga's grip, he would have lost by
default. Her fiance was fast. The pig boy was strong. Both triumphant in
their own element.
	Akane, however, was stronger than she was fast. In that way she was
like the pig boy, but he was stronger than she.
	And the two of them were naked . . .
	Akane did something she hated. She gave up and nodded.
	"Ahou," she spat at him.
	"You really are kawaiikune," he replied.
	There was a silence. Then Ryouga spoke in measured tones.
	"I was tracking Ranma through China when a girl chasing a panda
knocked me into the Heitoniichuan. I have been almost eaten numerous times.
Because of Ranma, I have seen hell."
	A girl and a panda . . .
	Akane swallowed hard. "Fine. However, if you lay a finger on him I
shall make sure that you get 'fixed.'"
	"Fine," he growled.
	A trickle of blood started to drip from Ryouga's nose. Within a
moment, he had fainted.
	"Oh for pete's sake!" Akane muttered as she dragged the boy out of
the furo. She sighed and sloshed a bucket of cold water on the
hair-butcherer.
	Kobuta opened its eyes and glared at her. "Don't look, hentai pig."
	A knock at the door. Panda-ojisan stuck his head in the furo room.
ANY WHERE AROUND HERE A PANDA CAN GET A BATH? read his sign.
	Kobuta let out an unearthly "bweee" of rage.
	Akane gave him a good thumping on the head and went to soak in the
furo.

	Ranma's eyes lit up as she brought the piglet to him. "Thanks for
giving the little guy a bath."
	"You're welcome."
	There was a silence. Then, "Do you like him, Akane?"
	She looked at the floor. "I've never been partial to men of any
species."
	"Oh. Sorry."
	He sounded sincere. Akane raised her head until she could look him
in the eyes. "I didn't mean to say it that way."
	Ranma scratched the back of his head. "Ah, it's okay. It ain't like
there's that many guys around here that inspire likin'." He started to
count on his fingers. "There's Tofu, of course. And Hiroshi and Daisuke
when they're in their less etchi moods. And, last but not least, yours
truly."
	"Baka," Akane whispered.
	The rain fell softly on the roof of the Tendou house. Akane
realized with a suddeness that made her heart race that although Ranma was
rude and arrogant, she liked him.
	That maybe she didn't mind being engaged to him so much after all.
	He was smiling at her and she couldn't help but smile back.
	And then she saw them and they filled her sight.
	Light eyes.
	Two smaller Akanes staring back at her.
	And then a hand
		sneaking out
			to meet
				another.
	andeverythingwouldandcouldbeallright
	--and two heartbeats pounding in rhythm to the rain.

	Akane woke with a start.
	Ranma had gone to sleep with Kobuta next to him --
	-- and Akane did not by any means trust that pig.
	"I've got to protect him," she muttered.
	One foot, other foot. One foot, other foot. Softly. Don't wake
anyone. Faster. A jog now. Finally, a run.
	She saw Saotome-ojisan and Ranma on their futons. Kobuta . . .
where was Kobuta? Damn that hentai pig!
	Oh. The pig was at Ranma's pillow. He wasn't under the blanket.
That was good, but still . . .
	Akane took a step towards Ranma and his pig. Her foot chose a loose
floorboard. It creaked.
	Kobuta opened his piggy eyes and caught sight of Akane. Stretching,
he began to rise --
	-- and Akane made a leap for him--
	-- and she landed on top of Ranma. There was an awful moment of
silence. Then her fiance opened his eyes.
	"Jeez, Akane. And y'call me a hentai!"
	She glared at him. "I am not!"
	"Oh? And why're y'sneakin' into my bed like that?"
	"Because I was worried about you, you egotist!"
	A look of amusement crept into his eyes. "Why?"
	"The hentai pig . . ."
	"Akane, I'm a guy."
	"HE COULD GET SOME WATER!"
	Next to them, Genma stirred. Ranma put a finger to his lip.
"D'y'want to wake up everyone?"
	"No. Of course not," Akane whispered.
	"Then keep still and keep quiet." Ranma turned his head to the pig
at his pillow. "Kobuta, you go sleep with Oyaji tonight." He turned back to
Akane. "It would look real suspicious, see, if y'were creepin' around in
th'middle of the night. What we're gonna do is wait until just before dawn,
then you'll go to th'kitchen and get some cereal or something. Oyaji'll
wake me up and toss me outside. Then we can have a normal morning."
	"I suppose it might work." Her voice quivered slightly.
	"We could try t'get y'out of here without makin' any noise."
	"No. It's all right, Ranma."
	He smiled. "You cold, Akane?"
	She blushed. "A little."
	"Come under the blanket, then. I promise I won't be a hentai."
	"O-okay."
	In what seemed like a infinitely short time, Akane was nestled very
close to Ranma. She could hear his heart beat. "Can I put my arms around
you?" he asked.
	"Yes," she whispered.
	Akane began to feel very drowsy . . .

	Genma Saotome was not used to waking up with a kawaii little
piglet. It especially irritated him to look into beady, little, piggish
eyes as his first sight of the morning. Unfortunately, his son had decided
to adopt the aformentioned porcine and there was very little Genma could do
about it at the present time. He only hoped Nadoka would not see having
Kobuta as unmanly.
	Brushing the piglet off his stomach, Genma sat up on his futon.
Then he blinked. Ranma and Akane were in the same futon --
	-- and they seemed to be doing something that involved much
thrusting of limbs. At first, Genma thought that the two had decided to
join the schools prematurely and he almost leaped out of bed to fetch Soun.
	Genma then realized that the two were fighting each other;
moreover, they were both completely asleep while doing so. It was like
nothing he had ever seen before. He stared, in rapt fascination, as the two
battled in their sleep. Ranma won, naturally, and the two settled down to
slumber in each other's arms.
	The last time Genma had felt this good was when his son was born.
	Some things, like giraffes, are silent. Saotome Genma had only one
thing in common with that long-necked beast -- he could be incredibly
silent if the need suited him.
	So, through a series of silent dashes around the house, Tendou Soun
was indeed fetched to witness the marvel. So were his two elder daughters.
	Some thing, like a crying Tendou Soun, are incredibly noisy.
	This was the noise that Akane and Ranma woke up to.
	"I am proud of you, Akane," Genma said, filling up the slack for
his hysterical best friend and drinking buddy.
	"Huh?" Akane asked intelligently.
	"It is traditional, of course, for engaged couples to sneak into
each others beds. Normally, the bridegroom does such things, but then
you've always been quite the tomboy."
	Nabiki just laughed and laughed and snapped pictures of the two.
Kasumi smiled. "Father?" the eldest Tendou girl asked.
	"Yes, Kasumi-chan?"
	"Why don't we move Ranma into Akane's room? Then Ojisan can have
the downstairs all to himself."
	"A capital idea," Genma inserted.
	Akane and Ranma looked at each other, their fathers, and her
sisters and uttered one word together. "NO!"
	In a vacant lot on the other side of Nerima, a demented Buddhist
monk heard a faint cry and muttered to himself. "Today will be a very
unlucky day."


End Chapter One

Next Chapter: Making That Silk Purse


Credit Where Credit's Due
---------------------------
 Ranma Nibun no Ichi, Urusei Yatsura, and all related characters belong to
Takahashi Rumiko-sama, without whom we would not have this story.
 All thanks to my Japanese teacher Rachel Hitte-sensei who taught me the
froggy song. I also owe her for making sure that Japanese III will be
available my senior year, even if the demons of scheduling will not let me
take it.
 The whole ritual of stealing into one's fiancee's bed is not made up. If
you doubt me, visit the Oshkosh North High School library, pick up the book
of Japanese folk tales, and look it up.
 If you got the reference to "Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle," pat yourself on the back.

Author's Note:

	This is my second Ranma Nibun no Ichi fanfic. This is not my first
fanfic. I've been doing fan writing of some sort ever since I was fourteen.
Given that I am nearly eighteen now, that's been quite a while. Up until
about a year ago, however, I only wrote Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon
fanfiction.
	My first attempt at Ranma fanfiction was a crossover concerning
Middle Earth among other things. You can find it at
<http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/4706>. I am a fan of the Ranma/Akane union,
but sympathise with the other girls as well. Oddly enough, I like Ryouga as
well, although I usually seem to portray him in a less than glowing light.
	Other notes may get a little more personal. Gomen.

Becky Malsin, 3 February 2000