Since legal disclaimers offer all the protection of tissue paper, I will skip them. However, I would like to thank Naoko Takeuchi for creating the wonderful work of art that is Sailor Moon.

Thanks to the keepers of Annapuma’s Script Crypt for Sailor Moon script dialogue used in this chapter.

Thanks to Mark, Aponar and Rachel for saying, "No, no, no! Not like this, like this," as well as the rest of the SME Crew.

Chapter 9 "Moon Fight"

Author's note: In this chapter I contradict myself with chapter three on a minor point. In chapter three, I wrote the gangplank scene so that Ferrite and Serenity were meeting for the first time. Instead I have Serenity and Ferrite meeting some years earlier. All I can say is that it is important to depict Serenity as I have done in this chapter. I'll just have to clean up this little clash on revision. 

Man, I stink. I mean literally. I've been slaving in my apartment for the past forty-eight hours without pausing for sleep or a shower. After Sailor Venus fried my Dark Kingdom energy detector, I've been up all night and all the next day trying to put it back together. There's no telling what Beryl is up to and I'll need it as soon as possible. Now, at last I'm ready to test it. Whew! When I’m finished it’s time to take a long overdue rest. Perhaps a nice long soak at the public baths is a good idea. Damned micro sized apartment, no room for a bathtub.

I power the energy detector up again and aim it at the items I recovered from Nephrite's lair. I watch the faint readings fluctuate as I focus on Nephrite's journal and those strange crystals. The level on the LED readout rises to just above background levels. Good, I'm satisfied with the results. All that's left to do is close up the case and I'm ready to roll. Then my eyes almost bug out of my head at what I see: The antenna is disconnected!

How in Heaven's name am I getting a reading at all? I look at my filaments; they're okay, just connected to the antenna. I follow the circuit around and see that the leads are just lying there; they’re grounding off against the worktable's frame. Hmm, the metal frame must be acting as an antenna itself.

"Eureka!" I shout as an idea strikes me like lightning. Instead of using this rinky-dink antenna on the front of the gun, I might be able to rig a much bigger, better antenna. I experiment a bit by attaching the wires to a metal book case, the refrigerator and then, finally (carefully) connecting up to the electrical wiring of the building. Hah! To my delight, in each case, I find I can do much, much more. Then I realize that not only will this work by attaching to a larger antenna but I can use my Dark Kingdom energy detector as a filter for a data stream. I chuckle at the implications: I can take any old data stream from say, a weather satellite, and use that to detect Dark Kingdom energy.

Hah! I'll soon have the exact position of Beryl's entry point into this dimension. When I do, it’s payback time. Mentally I start laying out numerous Spy vs. Spy deathtraps. Better make a shopping list of the things I’ll need. Let’s see… I'll just need a little wire, maybe a couple of batteries, a sixteen-ton weight, some dynamite or plastic explosives… Hmm, where can I steal some explosives? Probably a construction site or military base… Military base? While I'm there making off with government property, maybe I could pick up some thermite... or nerve gas or... Hey! If there's a U.S. carrier in port, it's bound to have a tactical nuclear weapon or two. Stealing one would be a challenge but I am the great Trenchcoat Mask!

Yeah, that's the ticket: nuclear weapons. Magic, shmagic, the power of exploding atoms is where it's at. Hey 'Beryl' whatcha' gonna' do when every molecule in your body is suddenly a million degrees Fahrenheit? Hah, I'd like to see you magic-spell your way out of that! Bwahahahahaha! ... Then I realize I'm talking out loud and laughing maniacally like some anime villain. Eh... Maybe I'd better take a shower and catch that nap now. I'm get'n kind'a loopy.

I glance at the clock and see that it's a little to noon. I happen to know where there’s a television studio’s satellite dish. Yeah, I'll get a bit of rest and then hightail it up to the Starlight Tower and latch onto the T.V. studio's feed from Weather-star 7. I won't even have to scan through all that data either, just monitor for spikes along a narrow band. Look out Dark Kingdom, you can’t hide anymore.

It is about three when I set out for the tower. Since it's such a lovely afternoon, and I need to loosen up for the act of breaking and entering I'm to engage in, I decide to walk. The foot traffic is what you'd expect for an average afternoon on an average day. What breaks up this idyllic scene is a curious young man I notice ahead of me. A bit shorter than me, dressed in this tasteless combination of green jacket, black turtleneck, and light purple pants. What's odd is he's leaning heavily against a lamppost, waiting for the light to change. He looks like he's ill or something.

I come even with him just as the light changes to "walk" and he starts to cross the street. Before he can make another step, I snag him by the shoulder and jerk him back. He lets out a hiss of pain and draws back to smack me like a coiled spring. At that moment, a car that was trying to make the yellow light zooms through the spot he almost stepped into. The jerk even honks his horn at us for almost slowing him down.

The young man watches the car race through the intersection for a moment and sheepishly notices his hand cocked back for an eye-strike. I raise an eyebrow and he drops his arm with an embarrassed, "Gomen." I make sure he's steady on his feet before I let go and say, "You've got to pay attention or these idiots will turn you into street pizza to save themselves a few seconds."

"Yeah," he agrees, "Sorry, about the... " Then he stops in mid-sentence and looks at me oddly. "Have we met?" he asks looking at my features carefully.

I examine him too and try to see if there is something familiar about him. Maybe he was one of the people I met during the Silver Millennium, but I can't say for certain now. I do know I've never met him in this lifetime so I say, "I don't think we've ever met."

"Oh," he says. Then he shakes his head as if to clear it and sways a trifle unsteadily.

"Are you all right?" I ask, "You seem to be in distress. Want me to call you a cab?"

"No, thank you, I was just returning to my apartment across the street. I'll be able to lie down there."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, thank you. You're very kind to ask."

We cross and I leave him at the door, patting myself on the back for having performed my good deed for the day. I’ve gone for half a block when I notice that there's blood on my hand. He must have had a wound on his shoulder where I grabbed him. I look back at the lobby of the building he went into but it’s empty. Oh well, he looked healthy enough. I guess that was what was giving him trouble.

The Starlight Tower is a snap to get inside. I just take the elevator to the observation deck on the top floor. The only thing is, the blasted building has those outside-the-building glass-walled elevators. I look out at the city below and have to fight the urge to say to hell with it and take the stairs. Since I remembered who I truly am, Robert Davis' fear of falling is now explained. That still doesn't prevent me from backing up against the inner wall, though.

At last, the doors open on the top floor observation room. The city stretches for miles in all directions with the multitude of streets, crisscrossing like threads in a fabric that weaves the city. School kids and adults feed coins into the binoculars to peer down at familiar landmarks below. I slip over to the stairs but I hardly have to bother being secretive, everyone is looking out the windows. The stairwell is unlocked, which is unsurprising considering how uncommon burglary is in Tokyo. Transforming, I go up a couple of flights to the roof being careful to stay out of view of any security cameras but find none. Other than the locked roof door, which I quietly break, I have no trouble reaching my goal.

I open the door and the muffled roar of the air conditioning competes with the howling of the wind. The roof is rather spare. Everything is neat and orderly, from the white pebble roofing to the meticulously clean air-ducts. The air intakes for the cooling system draw in the tainted city air to filter and sanitize before pumping it into the offices below. Nobody is about to challenge me and I easily find the communications junction box.

It’s not even locked so I pop it open and connect my detector up to the feed from Weather-star 7. Another link runs to my laptop to record not only the detection of Dark Kingdom energy but its coordinates as well. Indicators start flashing indicating successful connection to the data stream. After only a few minutes, I hear the tone that indicates the header of the information packet. The hunt has begun! Weather-star 7 is now feeding a weather data chunk from a large section of the globe. Information about precipitation, temperature and humidity are overlaid on top of coordinates for where in the world that little mosaic of data is. What I need to do is sift through that stream to find spots of Dark Kingdom energy. I gaze at my little contraption expectantly... and gaze... and gaze. They say a watched pot never boils and they sure are right. I sit there for I don’t know how long and watch the changing numbers.

I've almost dozed off when the computer beeps. What the? The sun is almost setting. I glance at the computer and let out a whoop. Yeehaa! I check the filtering program I wrote and the little list box has a set of coordinates in it. I glance at the signal strength numbers and from the looks of them, it's got to be the major entrance point Beryl is using for this dimension. I pull out my map of the world and lay it on top of an air duct. I struggle to keep it flat as the wind tugs at it.

Let's see here... 77 degrees north longitude… Hmm, that means the point is almost within the Arctic Circle. The dimensional point is north of the eightieth parallel and slightly to the east. "That would put Dimension Entry point about here," I say aloud as I pencil "D-Point" on the map. Then, the computer beeps again. I blink and look at the list-box. That's odd. I expected a reroute point somewhere in Tokyo but this is north of the fiftieth parallel and well to the east. I glance at the map and note the position is somewhere in west Canada. The reading is even stronger but shifted almost completely out of the Dark Kingdom energy range. It's magic all right but it's completely different than the dark magic Beryl is using. It must be immensely powerful to spill all over the spectrum like this. It's like it is magic and yet... not. "What could that be?" I ask aloud. It's too alien to be Beryl... and then a thrill runs down my spine. I know!

Hot tears of a familiarity akin to finally coming home spring into my eyes and I whisper, "The Portal..." The Great Portal of the Ancients: it can be nothing else. Tears flow freely down my cheeks as the knowledge that something from the Silver Millennium has endured all this time. A touchstone from my time... my life... is in the present, here and now. The why or how that it has moved there are questions for another time. What matters now is that it exists and is real. I look to the east and silently vow that after Beryl is dealt with I shall find the great gate of Mu again. I wipe my eyes and turn back to the task at hand.

The computer chimes again indicating another contact. I'd been prepared for this one and see the major Tokyo longitude-latitude coordinates spring onto the screen. I pull out my detail map and go down the minute-seconds grid to find out exactly where the Dark Kingdom is going to strike. Hmm... From the look of things it looks like I should be able to see the spot from this building. Then I feel a wave of dark energy and everything starts to change around me. Gack! It's this building!

Afternoon is transformed into night, as the very air around the building becomes dark and soupy. Damn! They’re pulling the whole building into their dimension! Where it was a pleasant and sunny, there is now an air of menace about the place. The clean, modern concrete of the building takes on texture like some foul, subterranean stalagmite. Root-like tendrils spring up and cover other portions of the building as if the whole structure has been turned into one, vast living organism.

As these changes occur, I feel a wave of pressure wash over me. Someone just used a spell of some sort. My mind is sealed against mental influences but I can sense their effects. In the observation deck below, I hear the terrified screams of the people and the sounds of their subsequent flight down the stairs. I sure hope everyone is smart enough to take the hint and make a run for it. I step over to the edge of the roof and look down to gauge the extent of the transformation. Damn, it's almost complete. Even the elevators appear as seed pods on vine-like cables.

As I’m taking this all in, a familiar voice says behind me, "I thought my fear spell would have made all the humans flee the building. However, it looks as if one of the roaches is resistant." Now there's something for me to be afraid of: Kuzite! I dive to one side and fling a flurry of yellow roses in his direction. He doesn't even bother to dodge but allows them to splatter harmlessly against a spherical shield he's raised around himself. He sneers at my attack. Damn, I wish I had my pistol. That would blow that arrogant smirk right off his face.

"If you're here to help your friend, Tuxedo Kamen," he says, "there's nothing you can do. I won't allow you to interfere in Zocite's little duel with him." Prince is here? That revelation so surprises me that I hesitate… almost fatally.

"Kun!" Beryl's minion shouts and unleashes a bolt of dark energy at me. I roll to the right just in time but still feel the malice in its passage. This is a power he never had as a Guardian. It’s got to be death magic. His time in the Dark Kingdom has warped him terribly from the Atlantean scientist he once was. This is just like my last encounter with him. I can’t win; he's just too powerful.

I feint to the left and then leap backward off the edge of the building. A bolt of dark lightning sears the spot I was just in but Kunzite is unperturbed at missing me. I look up as I fall and he appears above me hanging in the air - defying gravity. He doesn't even bother to affect a reclining position like Zoicite but stands on nothing as if air or earth are one and the same to him. He casually extends a hand at me as I plummet. I can’t dodge and he carefully lines up his shot. Before he can fire, however, the crooked handle of my umbrella shoots out, smashes through a window and hooks onto the pane. He arches an eyebrow in surprise as I swing out of the line of fire down to the floor below. I smash through the window to some office spraying glass everywhere. I burst out of the office I land in and run down the hallway. I've got to hide... to get away so I can search for the Prince. From outside the shattered window I hear Kunzite call, "You can't get away."

I run into a reception area. To my left are the elevators, a little beyond them are the stairs. Unless I want to hide behind the desk, there's no cover here. Then, I spy it: the air conditioner ducts! I dash past the elevator and press the down button. Then I open the stairwell door and toss a baseball I have in my pocket onto the stairs. It makes a thumping sound as it bounces down the stairs. After that distraction is in place, I leap up and snatch the grill off the air ducts. I can hear Kunzite striding down the hall as I leap up a second time and catch the edge of the duct one handed and haul myself into it. The space is cramped and I can barely squeeze in. I don't know how I manage to but somehow I contort my legs to fit inside while still maintaining my hold on the grill. With a "click" I set the grill in place over the opening.

Kunzite steps into the reception area rather casually. He pauses as the chime sounds and the elevator doors open. The Dark Guardian glances inside to be sure that it's empty and then steps over to the stairwell door. It's still slightly ajar and I can still faintly hear a "thump-thump-thump" as the baseball bounces. He smiles slyly and raises his hand. A glow covers his palm like St. Elmo's fire as he summons more dark energy. Good. He's falling for it.

"What kind of fool do you take me for?" He asks staring right up at the grill I'm hiding behind. He waves his hand and the air duct takes on a plant-like look like the rest of the building. It tightens around me like a vice. It's like the roots of some demon tree are crushing me. The grill drops away and I'm staring right into his evilly, glowing eyes. I try to spit some curse at him but I can barely breathe. "I think it's about time to end your meddling," he says. His tone is like someone who's decided to smash a fly that's annoyed him. Before he can do anything, however, he cocks his head slightly as if he hears something I can't. "The kurzuishou..." he mutters absently. Then, Kunzite looks me dead in the eye and says, "I'll deal with you later." With that, he vanishes into thin air.

Now is my chance! I just have to slip out of this air duct and... I push towards the opening but can’t move. Damn! I'm still trapped. I manifest a rose and jab it into the wall like a knife but it skitters off. Stabbing again and a gain, I barely even scratches the surface. Bunching my shoulders, I try pushing against the sides of the transformed air duct but it's thick and hard, like a tree trunk rather than sheet metal. Unable to get a decent breath, I quickly exhaust myself in my struggles. I think about my umbrella but it lays a little down the shaft beyond my feet, useless.

Distantly, I hear the sound of an explosion beyond the elevator doors. I curse my helplessness. The Prince is fighting for his life and I can't do anything. Thrashing against my restraints I rage against my cage but can’t move.

It takes all my willpower to stop struggling. If I'm to do anything, I've got to keep a clear head. Perhaps I can teleport. I've experimented with my Trenchcoat-Mask abilities before but have been unable to do so. Maybe the knowledge of the Great Portal's location and the surety it exists will help. I close my eyes and reach out to the Great Portal across the sea.

Perhaps it is just a memory but for the briefest of instants the power of the Ancient Wonder fills my being. All senses are engaged: The smell the metal forged eons ago is so powerful I can taste it. My ears hear the thrumming and I feel and the vibration of awesome power barely restrained. In my mind's eye, I see the light of the beyond in the locus of the gate…

There! Now! Move without moving...

I fail.

Almost crying with exhaustion and frustration, I just lie there. All hope is lost. The Prince will fall. Then, the sound of voices wafts down the airshaft to me.

"You'll pay for the sins of deceiving people and trying to kill us! In the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!" That was Usagi's voice. Sailor Moon is here? How did she know? Whatever the case, my heart soars with hope. I take a breath and then start probing the walls looking for a weakness. As I do, I listen.

"Sailor Moon," Zoicite says contemptuously, "I'll dispose of you along with Tuxedo Kamen."

"Get serious," she says, "Where is Tuxedo Kamen-sama?"

"Right here," someone says.

That voice! I know that voice! I've heard that voice this very afternoon. But who was it? Then it hits me! That guy in the street... the guy in the green jacket and turtleneck. He was the prince and I didn't realize it! ARRRGGHH! The monumental frustration combined with the realization of how close I missed him drives me completely berserk. For a while there, I just completely lose it. I vent my rage snarling, thrashing, and kicking. Despite all my noise, there is no response. Nobody can hear me and that makes me even madder.

Suddenly, a scream cuts though my red haze. It takes a second but I regain control. I find myself stupidly gnawing on the transformed duct wall. Baka! Keep control and look for an opening; the prince needs you. I use my free hand to punch myself in the head. I listen hoping to figure out what is going on.

"Are you all right, Sailor Moon?" The prince asks weakly. He's injured, maybe dying! "Why do you look so sad?" He asks the crying Sailor Moon, "I'm glad you're safe."

"We're too late...," a new voice says. That was Rei Hino. The other Senshi have arrived, but not in time. I weep bitter tears at my complete and utter failure. I've got to get to him… to somehow get out of this prison.

Then, somehow beyond reason, I *feel* a clear white light. It is the same as when I drew my dying breath on the Moon a hundred centuries ago. It is the Ginzuishou. The transformed Wonder of the Ancients is shining brilliant even through these walls. Its radiant power reaches me here in the darkness and I feel comfort. I don't know how they did it but the Senshi have somehow reformed the kurzuishou into the Ginzuishou.

I hear Luna say in wonder, "Princess... Princess Serena..."

"Princess? You mean Sailor Moon was the princess we were looking for?" One of the Senshi asks.

Sailor Moon is the Moon Princess? Then the realization hits me like a train. "Of course she's the Moon Princess you dolt!" I shout at myself, "You were too smart for your own good. In the Silver Millennium there never was a Sailor Moon! Who else would the Moon Princess be?" I completely overlook both the prince and the princess in one day. Am I infected with terminal stupidity?

"And Tuxedo Kamen was Mamoru-san?"

Eh, "Mamoru?" That must have been the name of the guy in the green jacket. At least I have a name to go along with the face now.

"The Princess has awakened. Then, I'll kill you all and take the Ginzuishou," Zoicite declares. When he says that, I hear the rush of a violent wind and can feel the flare of the Ginzuishou again. Zoicite must be getting the business because he shouts and things fall silent for a few tense moments.

Then Sailor Moon says, "Tuxedo Kamen... you have..."

"Now I remember..." he whispers, "My Serena... I'm Endymion."

"That's right," Sailor Moon answers as if in a dream, "I'm Serena... You were Endymion."

The two of them are reunited at last... after all this time. Then the Senshi cry out to Usagi as if she were in peril. I have a tense moment or two when Artemis declares, "Don't worry. They just passed out."

"Mamoru-san, are you okay?" Rei asks.

"He's badly injured," Ami answers.

Then I hear Zoicite rasp weakly, "You think you can stop me? That was nothing. . ." I hear him stumble and then he exclaims, "Kuzite-sama. Sailor Moon is actually the Moon Princess."

"I see," he says simply, "So the princess has awakened and the kurzuishou were drawn to her, eh?"

There came some exclamations on the part of the Senshi, and then he says, "I will let you live for a while." They shout, "What is he doing? Stop him!" They give a collective gasp and Venus says, "They've disappeared and taken Tuxedo Kamen with them."

They’ve gone? They’ve taken the prince? I start yelling, hoping to get their attention but it’s in vain; they give no sign they’ve heard me. After a few minutes I give up and listen.

Ami says, "This space is a non-continual imaginary world. In other words, this dimension is not connected to your world by a three dimensional axis, but on a two dimensional axis which means that the connection is made through the opposite coordinate on two sides through the zero’th dimension."

"Uh... Whatever you say," Venus says.

Hmm, so this is some pseudo-dimension, eh? That explains the transformation of the building. Maybe I can figure out how to teleport using this information. I've had teleportation explained to me during my first incarnation but it was usually something I just *did* rather than thought about. Still, it’s all I can do right now. I sort of half listen as Sailor Moon awakens and the others bring her up to date on the situation. The moon cats start talking about the Silver Millennium and reincarnation as I concentrate on thinking of a way I might escape this trap.

My concentration is shattered, however when Usagi says, "I don't want to fight any more." What? These villains take her prince, her very world is threatened, and she doesn't want to fight to stop them? Is this truly princess Serena? The one who threw herself into the whirlwind for Endymion?

Mars, er … Rei is apparently of similar mind as me because she begins to royally upbraid Usagi. They go back and forth for a moment and it culminates in a slap. Lots of crying follows with Ami being the voice of reason saying, "Sooner or later she'll be back to being Usagi. Until then, we'll have to defend her. In the meantime, I've found the way out." Luna starts talking but I'm distracted by something: I feel a teleport. Maybe it's my recent attempt to connect to the Great Portal or maybe it's the strange space I'm in but I feel Kunzite (and I know that it’s him) arrive. I close my eyes and concentrate on the feeling. I register Kunzite's challenge to the Senshi but I don't let it distract me from analyzing what I sensed. "You can’t help them as you are now," I say to myself, "first you must escape." I hear them attack him and he repulses them one by one. I ignore it and try to teleport myself the same way I felt him do. Focusing my mind like a laser, I call upon the power of the Great Portal

There! Now! Move without moving...

Success!

I reappear outside the air-duct in the reception area dizzy and disoriented. I recover my umbrella and hoist myself to my feet. I point myself in the direction of the voices and stumble towards them. Shaking off my nausea, I hear Kunzite exclaim, "This is for Zoicite!" The sound of an energy discharge reaches me and I feel Sailor Moon unleash the power of the Ginzuishou. She’s really letting him have it full force, too. Hah! Get him, Usagi! Oops, he’s teleporting. Uh oh, without Kunzite to resist it the force of the Ginzuishou sweeps out into the strange space, obliterating it. We shift back into normal space and everything reverts to normal. "She did it!" I exult.

Then the building explodes.

A wave of concussion sweeps though the halls like a hurricane. All this has been too much for the Starlight Tower; it’s collapsing from the strain. I am hurtled down the hall and through a window as the whole thing collapses. What is this where I keep getting thrown off of buildings? Fortunately, my experience in this situation makes me naturally open my umbrella again and use it as a parachute. I land safely on the top of a lower skyscraper just as dawn breaks on the ruin of the Starlight Tower. Dawn? We couldn’t have been in there more than an hour or two. Time must have passed differently in the real world as it was in the pseudo-dimension.

I look down from my perch and see the Senshi standing on the rubble of the building. Sailor Moon looks out to sea, seemingly oblivious to the devastation. The Ginzuishou in the crescent moon wand twinkles innocuously in the early morning sunlight. She holds it casually at her side, as if she doesn't realize what an irreplaceable treasure it is.

"Well," I say to myself, "the time for secrecy is past." The enemy has taken the prince. Whatever his reasons for seeking the Ginzuishou for himself are irrelevant now. The Dark Kingdom has him and I’ll need all the allies I can to get him back.

I'm about to go down to them when I pause. Usagi herself said she was not up to the task ahead of her. What did she say to the Senshi? "I can't stand fighting anymore. What if everybody... if you end up like Mamoru..." Destiny be damned, she just wanted to be a normal teenager. Ah, if only Rei were actually the princess, then it would be a fight. Hell, any of the others would have been better than Usagi. But fate has deemed that the Moon Princess is the same girl who can't even pass geography.

The Dark Kingdom will be after her more than ever now. How could she possibly be up to the challenge? If I throw in with them, I might be able to whip them into shape but how could I improve over anything Luna or Artemis has done? After all, the Moon Cats are the immortal advisors to the Senshi. There must be thousands of stratagems filed away in their memories.

No, it would be best to ponder matters carefully. It will take the Dark Kingdom a few days to recover from tonight's actions. Transposing the dimension of a whole building must have been costly. No, I'll think on things and then decide what to do. Yes, observe the girls in secret for a little while and then reveal myself to them later at the same time protecting my own anonymity.

The week has me rebuilding my detector and casually observing Usagi and her new friends. A few chance meetings with the girls here or there over the next few days fill in the blanks. The old priest at Hikawa Jinja tells me the girls meet there often. I also hear about a new addition to their group, Aino Minako. As an excuse to cover my frequent appearances, I make a habit of taking an afternoon walk with Haruna Sakurada that has me making the occasional pass by there.

Vigilant in my search for Dark Kingdom activity, I am nonetheless late time after time after time. My rebuilt detector is hooked up to every antenna in the neighborhood and I still just miss the action. For instance, I pick up this burst of energy at a hair salon owned by the famous hair designer Tokoyama Kariko and arrived to find the place in a shambles, the staff strew around the street with nobody remembering anything. Still, it’s at that time I notice a pattern: someone advertises some fantastic giveaway that would particularly appeal to young girls. The Dark Kingdom is playing to their audience; I’ll give them that. Thereafter, I subscribe to all the local teen magazines and newspapers.

It was an ad in one of them that led me to the Rose estate where "Princess seminars" were held. I arrived there in the evening after learning of this from some teen magazine. From the looks of things, I was late, as usual. The glow of the Ginzuishou was fading as Sailor Moon did in another youma.

"It was Countess Rose after all," Says one of the Senshi.

"Now I'll get Tuxedo Kamen-sama back the way he was," Sailor Moon declares.

Before she can do anything, Tuxedo Kamen retreats into a dark portal with Kunzite. As he goes, Endymion says, "Sailor Moon, you will keep the Ginzuishou until we meet again. Farewell." For I don’t know how long, I stand there in the shadows completely stunned. The Senshi leave, Lady Rose recovers and wanders back inside, but I hardly notice any of this. Over and over what I have witnessed repeats the devastating discovery: Endymion was working with Kunzite to get the Ginzuishou. The Prince has been brainwashed by Beryl. I have failed utterly as a Guardian.

Thoughts of suicide come and for a moment I entertain them. But no, I must live to atone for my failure. The Prince is still alive; I must focus on that. I must have faith that an opportunity to get him back will present itself. At that moment, I must be around to take it. Shaking off my depression, I leave the Rose estate even more determined to thwart Beryl. I did so once before and I shall again. The Senshi are the key, Beryl will try to entice into a trap them to obtain the Ginzuishou. It is crucial to her plans somehow and that is what she will follow. Beryl will try again.

And so she does. Time and again, the girls escape trap after trap by the skin of their teeth. If the Dark Kingdom weren't so incompetent this would have been all over by now. However, I do notice a trend. The traps are becoming more and more obvious. I mean, come on! A Moon Princess ski contest? Free skating lessons for groups of five girls? I finally get a break when I discover one such obvious trap the first time it appears in the paper. Moon Princess cruises are offering a free cruise around the harbor with dance lessons and a "royal" buffet. Didn’t they already try that ocean liner gag? Kunzite must be behind all this. Despite the fact he was a powerful and well-educated thaumaterge in his day, he was the most unimaginative man I have ever met. He's recycling Jadeite’s old schemes.

I go to the docks on the night of the "cruise" and sure enough there's an illusion cast over the whole place. If you are suspicious, you can sometimes see around the holes in glamors. Am I the only one who notices the fact that these sections of piers are for the loading and unloading of ore freighters? I know for a fact, this is one particularly decrepit section is where the owning steel company went bankrupt. The great loading and unloading cranes are still half full of ballast stone for the ships that unloaded their cargo. The shutdown was so sudden, the crews just walked away from their machines.

I must have arrived just in time for the action because I hear voices arguing by one of the colorfully banner festooned gangways of the ship (actually they’re dirty ore conveyers). I peek around the corner of the "gangway" and see the protagonists facing off against each other warily: Tuxedo Kamen, Kunzite, the Senshi, and some pirate themed youma. Hmm, sounds like a split in the ranks because Kunzite and Endymion are arguing.

"Destroy Sailor Moon!" Kunzite orders.

"Get the Crystal!" Tuxedo Kamen countermands.

"No, listen to me, crush the Senshi!" Kunzite shouts.

"No, our orders are to get the Crystal!" Tuxedo Kamen yells.

"Avast! What be the chain of command?" Asks the thoroughly confused pirate youma.

"Princesses outrank everyone," Sailor Moon declares.

"Huh?" The youma asks.

"Just get on with it," Mars sighs.

"Well I will but not because you tell me to, biii-dah!" Sailor Moon declares and sticks her tongue out at Sailor Mars.

"Sailor Moon!" Luna shouts.

"Moon Healing Activation!" The champion of love and justice shouts.

Predictably, the youma gives an unearthly wail and throws her arms wide. When the light of the healing magic disperses, a lady tugboat captain is left standing there. She crumples to the ground in a heap.

"There, you see what happens when you try to run things," Prince Endymion says.

"If you hadn't interfered I'd have had them," Kunzite says.

"Bah, I'll get the crystal myself," Endymion declares.

"Oh, I don't think so," Kunzite says. He raises his hand with his palm outstretched and the Senshi brace for an attack. They must have learned a few things in their previous encounters with him for they spread themselves out a bit. Tuxedo Kamen stands between Kunzite and them and says, "Threatening them is pointless. I said I'll get the crystal myself." He stands there almost daring Beryl's general to do something.

Instead of ordering him out of the way, however, Kunzite smirks as if he has an ace up his sleeve. I'm the only one to see him move his other hand behind his back and move it strangely. He extends the pinkie and forefinger and gives his wrist a half turn. What's he up to? Then I realize he's casting an unlocking spell!

Above Sailor Moon, the jaws of one of the massive ore loading cranes springs open dumping tons and tons of rock down on the five below. The Senshi react instantly, no doubt calling on their training from their previous incarnations, and dive aside... except for Sailor Moon who's had none!

Though things are happening in instants, the rocks seem to tumble in slow motion. Tuxedo Kamen whirls and starts a leap to her rescue... but jerks to a stop and falls clumsily on his backside when Kunzite grabs his cape! "No interference from you," he sneers. Behind him, a black portal opens and he hauls Endymion away. "Nooo!" The prince out as sure doom descends upon his princess. Sailor Moon screams in terror.

Suddenly, a back blur sweeps down and snatches Sailor Moon from where she stands. It's me! I feel the first of the rocks graze my back as I coil my legs under me for the bound away. We start to leap away and then, BAM! I smack face first into a boulder. The small stuff pelts off us and we rebound into the middle of the stream of rubble. Thoughts flow like molasses. What do I do? We're unable to get free! We're sure to die when I do a most Wile E Coyoteish of things. Tons of rock are going to smash us flat and I hold up my ridiculous little umbrella and open it.

Like before, when I used my umbrella to save Endymion, I call on the magic. Faster than thought, the umbrella thickens and expands. The handle is shoved out of my hand by the force of the pelting rubble to jam into the ground. Clouds of choking dust rapidly fills the small space and the roaring darkness closes over us like a hand. The crushing, oppressive mass and grows and grows and the tumbling rocks pound so hard the ground shakes. After a while, it stops. Amazingly, I'm still alive when it does.

One of the things I've learned in my short career as Trenchcoat-mask is to pack a few extra items in my pockets. While the all-purpose, trademark, yellow roses can come in handy for smiting evil doers, they can't do squat for me now. Good thing I come prepared.

I pull out a flashlight and turn it on. "Oh," Sailor Moon gives a little yelp of surprise at the sudden light. The air is so dusty that the beam seems to be a solid object as I play it about the confined space. My umbrella, magically expanded to about fifteen feet in diameter is holding steady despite the several tons of rock we're buried under. Stuff like this makes me wonder about the magic that Queen Serenity has imbued me with. I could never do things like this as a Guardian. This reality altering magic must have been her doing. I’m reassured to see the handle of the umbrella securely wedged between two boulders. I hope it will hold for a while.

I play the beam over Sailor Moon concerned that in that short outfit she might have been badly cut up by all the sharp rocks. There isn't a scratch on her. "Are you all right?" I cough. "Yeah, I'm okay," she answers with a quiver in her voice.

The rocks above us suddenly shift and the ribs of the umbrella groan. She bites her lip trying to be brave as she looks around desperately for some means of escape. "It's okay," I try to reassure her, "if the umbrella couldn't take the punishment, it would have collapsed outright. It'll hold." Something causes the rocks to shift again and one of the ribs breaks with a sound like a pistol shot. The air is filled with dust stirred up by the falling rubble. She gives a cry of fear and clings to me in desperation. "I don't want to die," she sobs, "I wanna' go home." My throat is dry in fear; in a previous life, I was a miner who was killed in a cave in. I want to go home too.

Something shakes the mound again and the umbrella creeks ominously.

"I just wish the others would get us out," Sailor Moon wails.

"Wait!" I shout as the realization strikes me. "That's your friends trying to dig us out! They think we're buried and are using their powers to blast the rock off us."

Sailor Moon fumbles with what looks like a calculator and starts punching some buttons. Apparently it is a communicator and she shouts, "Hello? Hello? Somebody, come in! Please!"

"Sailor Moon? Are you all right?" Sailor Mercury's voice comes over the communicator.

"Tell Jupiter and Mars to stop blasting," she says emphasizing their Senshi names, "they're going to kill us!" Over the open channel, we hear Mercury shouting at the others to stop.

After the pounding ceases, the mound settles down and the rocks stop sliding. It looks like we're safe... for now.

"Sailor-Moon," Luna's voice asks over the communicator, "Are you all right?"

"I'm okay, Luna," She answers, "I'm here with Tuxedo, er... Trenchcoat Mask. We're protected by his umbrella but if you dig too hard you'll cause a cave-in."

Mercury's voice comes over the channel and says, "I've examined the rock pile with my computer, we're going to start digging you out carefully from the top down."

"Okay, just be careful, but please hurry," she says in a frightened tone.

I take her wrist and hold the communicator up to my face and say, "No," loud enough to be heard over the channel, "don't hurry. Take you're time. There is enough air in here to last us about a day. Dig carefully, we will be all right." I look at Mercury's face and find it hard to imagine that she is actually shy, Mizuno Ami.

"Um, Okay," Ami answers. Usagi gets some comfort from my words and signs off in a more steady tone.

A rock comes loose and a small cascade of gravel hisses like a serpent for a moment. Like the young girl she really is, Usagi clings to me for comfort. I hold her soothingly for a moment until the wave of fear passes. "It's all right," I say trying to calm her down, "that was just a little settling. The big danger is past." Oh, I'm such a liar; a loose pile of rock and scrabble like this one, could shift sideways in a light breeze and squash us. "I know about mining and things like this. We're perfectly safe," I continue in authoritative tones. Sailor Moon looks at the umbrella dubiously. The stream of gravel just as suddenly stops. "There," I say, "see? It stopped. Now let's just sit down and wait rescue." She loosens her hold on me and looks about our small space. I wedge the flashlight in the ribs of the umbrella so I don't have to hold it. Taking a beach towel out of my pocket, I spread it across a flat rock. With a courtly wave of the hand, I offer this seat to Usagi. She just looks around nervously, so I sit down hoping she'll follow my lead. After a moment, she does.

With a sigh, I try to relax. A distant rumble makes her grab my arm in a death grip as she trembles in fear. "It's okay," I say soothingly, "that was just your friends rolling a rock off the pile." I hope. "Aren't you afraid?" She asks. "Terrified," I answer. This reminds me of the time..." but then I stop. Perhaps now is not the best time to relate what happened to end that particular life. Instead I decide to switch the subject to immediate concerns so I begin searching in the pockets of my trench coat. One of the delightful things I have discovered about the magic that turns me into Trenchcoat Mask is that the pockets of the coat are completely bottomless. If I can put it in my pocket it goes someplace else until I pull it out again. This also doesn't weigh me down or anything. I've learned to stash a few useful things, like the flashlight, in there. Ah, there it is. I pull a liter bottle of water out of my pocket. "Water?" I ask Usagi. She shakes her head in refusal. I take a few swallows, set it aside and start rooting around in my pockets again. Holding out the results of my search I ask, "Snickers bar?"

In an eye blink my hand is empty. Usagi practically inhales the candy bar in several bites. I marvel that she managed to get it unwrapped before she devouring it. "Being scared makes you hungry?" I ask. She nods licking a few bits of chocolate off the wrapper. I hand her mine and say, "I think I'll wait until later." In moments, it is gone too.

I offer the water bottle to her again, and she accepts gratefully.

"I guess we just await rescue," she says.

"I guess so," I say.

I look at her chocolate smeared face and cannot help but remember the first time she and I were in combat on the same side. Odd, I had been fighting both for and against the Moon Kingdom at the time.

* * *

I was on the Moon for the first time and was still wearing the green piping of the junior Guardian. I was in my post for only three months and I wanted to make a good showing. I, and my fellow Guardians were on the Moon for some treaty signing (I think it was to standardize weights and measures between Earth and the Moon) when it all happened. It was after the main event when all the royalty were safely couched away in their quarters behind guards both human and magic that we were free to do as we pleased. Consequently, both the Senshi and the Guardians found themselves gathered in small reception. Typical of Moon Kingdom entertainment, there was quite a nice buffet spread for us. The successful signing of the agreement set the mood high.

We were discussing things in general when the topic turned to magic. I don't know how it got to that issue, but I suspect that Goshenite steered it there. He was a thaumaturgist of the first order and loved showing off his knowledge.

Hope, Senshi Mercury, really got it all started when she stated, "Statistically there is a definite indication that women were more powerful at magic than men." Naturally enough, that statement immediately divided the assembly into two camps, male against female, Terrans vs. everybody else.

Of course, Anchorite, who is both Cibolitan and a numerologist, immediately challenged that, "What? How can you say such a thing? Where do you get your numbers?"

"Well," she explained tapping away at her remote terminal, "when you consider all the hearth witches and midwives who used healing magic..."

"Using uncounted midwives as a weighting basis for your calculations renders any conclusion fallacious."

"Not so," she protested, "by simply dividing the population by..."

The rest of us groaned inwardly. When a Cibolitan and a Mercurian start arguing numbers, everyone is sure to be bored to tears.

"Even placing that aside probably the most infamous sorcerer of all time was a woman," Prichaia, Senshi Mars, states. I'm surprised that anyone from Mars would ever bring that infamous one up even in a heated argument. Then she adds the ritualistic curse demanded whenever mentioning even indirectly the sorceress in question, "May Metallia rot in the Abyss forever." Everyone that had been trying to stay out of it pays attention now.

"Yes, she was the most powerful single user of magic ever," Goshenite concedes, "However, you must remember that she possessed one of the dark talismans. The black diamond was drawn to her evil soul and she used it to gather the other two to her as well. Forming flagon of corruption she crowned herself Black Messiah and it was that which was the source of most of her power not her talents as a mage. Had she not possessed those, it is doubtful she would have become a tenth of what she was."

"True," Mars agrees, "May Metallia rot in the Abyss forever. Her evil nature formed the base but nonetheless she is an example of a pinnacle no male has ever reached."

"Demon queens aside," Ariel, Senshi Jupiter says, "Though it wounds your male pride, you must admit that the female Senshi are much more powerful that the Guardians."

"Exactly!" Erin, Senshi Venus, exclaims, "The fact that the magic of the wonders of the Ancients choose a female avatar is proof of that."

Having been silent up till now I pipe up, "Oh, that's just so much nonsense. The strength of magic depends more on the will and skill of the mage, not their gender. The Senshi are all female for completely unrelated reasons."

"Oh really?" Prichaia asks genuinely curious.

"Yes," Anchorite prompts patronizingly, "How does a newly promoted farspeaker operator know about things a numerologist does not." Noting the slighted looks from the others in the room he adds quickly, "... And a priestess of the Church of Fire, a thaumaterge, astrologer, scientist, and ... " he also notes how stupid he looks going on and on like this so he wraps it up with a nervous cough, "Ahem, and other august experts..."

Hope turns back to me and asks, "So why do you think the Senshi are always female?"

Noting uncomfortably that everyone is looking at me I say nervously, "Uh, well, it's my belief that it was that way by design. Not that a natural affinity might not be there as Senshi Mercury here suggests. It's just that nature is not that blindly consistent." She arches an eyebrow at my comment and I add, "If it were a simple magical inclination, surely one male would have been found by the power. Especially that time the royal houses of Neptune...

"... Had no girl children for three generations?" Erin finishes for me.

"I would think that proves my point," Hope says, "if there were a capable male born, the power would have found him."

"But," Anchorite says, "Theusopinius, the greatest caster of illusions to ever live, was born of the Neptunian house of Stillwater during that time. Surely, he would have drawn the signal to his forehead if talent for magic is what makes a Senshi.

Ariel chuckles, "I wonder what he'd have looked like in a sailor fuku?" That causes all the Senshi and quite a few of the Guardians to laugh.

"Hmm, I wonder what effect transformation magic would have on a male?" Kunzite ponders. Leave it to an Atlantean to pose perverse questions about the universe.

"Heh," Prichaia snickers, "if some man did get the power to become a Senshi, I’ll bet the transformation change him into a woman."

"Okay," Hope says before we can stray too far from the topic, "I'll admit that Theusopinius had greater magical talent than any Senshi. But why do you feel the power of the planets finds its way to women and not men?

"I will say that it does have something to do with female tendencies but not with any greater or lesser affinity for magic," I say.

"Tendencies?" Ariel says with the typical Jovian impatience, "What tendencies if not for magic?"

"I mean to say that the magic seeks out female avatars because that is the way Serenity the First, the one who bound the great houses to the Ancient Wonders, sought to restrain the use of the Senshi power," I explain.

"Restrain the use of the power?" Prichaia asks incredulously, "We women have fought just as hard if not harder for human freedom than anyone else. I hope you don't mean we held back in some fashion."

"Er, no..." I say quickly, "what I mean is... To best illustrate what I mean, let me ask you a question. Which, and I'm talking in generalities here, of the two sexes which is the most aggressive?"

"Men," the Senshi chorus as one. Then they have a good-natured chuckle at our expense.

"Indeed," I answer, "but that aggression, when channeled properly, is the driving force for progress. Were it not for men's nature none would have dared to settle the solar system as we have."

"I would find contention with that," Ariel says, "but since I want to see where you're going with this, Guardian, please continue."

"Yes," Hope says, "why wouldn't Serenity the First allow the power to fall to males?"

"For the exact same reason," I say, "Before the Slavers came along, the Golden Imperium was a male dominated society. But it was repressive as well. Serenity knew that if the Senshi power went to a man, he might be tempted to use it for political advantage."

"Well, that did happen once," Nephrite says, "Mad Uranus tried to..."

"Please," Erin says, "speak no more of that blot on the Senshi's reputation. One aberration on an otherwise spotless record of two thousand years is proof of our success. Know that the Mad One was brought to heel by the leader of the Outer Senshi leader and leave it at that.

"Saturn, the one who destroyed eight of twelve Asteroid Kingdoms, certainly abused her power," Goshenite points out.

"Who can know what Saturn thinks?" Prichaia asks. We all nod in agreement.

"Those exceptions aside," I continue, "I think that Serenity the first was figuring that the power of the Senshi needed to be tempered somehow. Otherwise, the super soldiers she created to fight the Slavers would seek power for their own self. If not them, then their decedents."

"Well men would certainly do that," Ariel snorts.

I let the slight go and continue, "However, if the Senshi were always female it would soften the edge of these super warriors."

"Hmm, that's a possibility," Kunzite says.

"That is also why I believe the transformation magic attires you so," I say.

"Huh?" The elder Jupiter said, "how do you mean?"

I wave a hand demonstratively at her short skirt and form fitting fuku. "Correct me if I am wrong, but you hardly seem dressed to oppress. Few dictators expose that much leg." That cracks even Ancorite's shell and the men have a laugh this time. "All of you ladies are, to be blunt, dressed like..." I catch a few looks from the Senshi and say, "Ahem, let's just say it is difficult to see you, any of you, as the world dominating conqueror. Could you look in the mirror and think of yourself in that role?"

"Um, no," Venus admits, "though I readily see myself as defender."

"Exactly," I say, "

"Intriguing," Hope says, "How did you get to have so many ideas as to our nature?"

"I started out my career as a farspeaker officer," I answer, "in that specialization you learn to listen. I formed my theories from what I heard other people talk about."

"Who?"

"Why you, of course," I say with a twinkle in my eye, "despite the fact that you are magical warriors, you are still women, and women talk a lot."

The mood in the room shifts a bit and quite a few of them glower at me. "What?" I ask, "women aren't persistent gossips?"

Suddenly a cream puff from the buffet hits me square in the nose covering me in white, sticky goo. The Senshi erupt into laughter. "Oops! I'm sorry," Exclaims Hope in mock apology, "you flapping open mouth sounded so empty that I thought you needed something to fill it u..." Splat! My well-aimed mango catches her right between the eyes.

"VENUS..." Senshi Venus exclaims drawing back. What the!?! She's taking this seriously! "CRESCENT-ROLL!" She yells with a grin. A flying pastry flew across the room and splattered all over Anchorite's immaculate gray uniform. "Feel Terra's wrath!" He yelled as he teleported across the room and shoved a chocolate cream pie right in her face.

"SPARKLING..." Jupiter cried raising her hand in preparation for attack. I see Nephrite raise his arms in a futile attempt to protect himself. "WATER -PRESSURE!" She completes, hosing Nephrite down with a seltzer bottle. His long brown hair becomes plastered to his head and he sputters a bit as spits out the water.

"Kun!" Kunzite then steeples his fingers in front of his face and intones the first syllable of his title like a mantra. Uh oh, he only does that when he's calling on his power. Rows of full champagne glasses vibrate in harmony to the sound and suddenly fire their contents like mortars all over Mars and Jupiter.

Mars, who had been trying to keep out of it snatches up whole layer cake with vanilla frosting and hurls it at Kunzite. He sees it coming, though, and ducks. The cake travels onward to, of course, strike Goshenite on the back of the head. He picks up a basket of small cherry tarts and begins flinging them with pinpoint accuracy tracing a line up Mar's white fuku from navel to nose. Jupiter laughs at Mars until she catches the next one in the eye. Partially blinded, her return fire with her seltzer bottle strikes both Guardian and Senshi alike. From there on out, it pretty much turns into a free-for-all.

Ducking under a table to wait until Jupiter depletes her seltzer bottle, I am surprised to find myself face to face with a young girl. She was wearing a nightgown and her hair done up in two ponytails topped by knots, reminiscent of Serenity. She has a small plate on the floor with the half-eaten remains of some sweets on it. This must be the young princess Serena.

A thrown cherry tart splattered on the wall next to me spraying us both with juice. She gave a slight shriek of surprise, and wiped it off her face. Her eyes sparkled with delight, however, as I handed her a juicy, Venusian tanna fruit and said, "let's get 'em!"

"Moon revenge!" We shout as we stand from behind our cover and let fly. Senshi Venus turns at the sound of the princess' voice and my fruit catches her right on the upper lip. Nephrite spies Serena and says, "Ah! Princess...umph!" She hits him in the chin with her fruit and it drops down inside the front of his uniform. "Earth-Moon team up!" I shout sweeping her up on my shoulder. Almost choking with laughter, she throws fruit after fruit that I pass up to her from a nearby bowl.

A custard pie thrown by Jupiter partially blinds me. Just to be on the safe side, I set the princess on the table. I hand her a small basket of strawberries and pick up a melon ball filled cantaloupe for myself. Cocking back with the cantaloupe, the pie filling covers my eyes and I hesitate for a second. Unable to see, I reach out with my teleportation awareness for find a likely target. There! I take aim at the biggest female form over by the door and let fly with my fruity missile. I am gratified to hear it strike with a big, wet "Splortch!"

"Ha! Gotcha!" I gloat loudly. Then, everyone in the room lets out a horrified gasp. "Queen... Queen Serenity!" Kunzite exclaims. Suddenly, something heavy slams into me and I know no more.

I come to my senses some time later with Hope sponging off my face. I look around and see we are in a small waiting room near the Imperial throne room. I’m laid out on the floor with Senshi Mercury kneeling next to me. Praying that I imagined the last part of the food fight I ask with great trepidation, "what happened?" She hesitates for a second before replying, "You hit Queen Serenity the fourteenth with a cantaloupe." "Oh gods!" I moan, "I'm dead." I touch my forehead and feel a slight bump. Being a Guardian it takes quite a lot to injure me so I ask, "How did I get this bruise? Did I hit my head when I fell?"

She shakes her head and says "Queen Serenity the fourteenth hit you with a watermelon." After that sinks in she continues, "She actually used the Ginzuishou to levitate it off the buffet and sent it flying across the room. It looked like a green cannon ball."

Despite my situation, I give a little laugh, "It must have been quite a sight."

"Indeed it was," she chuckles. Even though I'm in deep trouble, I find myself laughing. It's infectious and she gets going too. She has a lovely laugh. "It must have been quite a vision," I snort, "me standing there, with a custard pie covering my face, clocking the queen of the Moon with a cantaloupe.... Hilarious."

... And then..." Hope pauses to slap her knee, "then she busts you with that watermelon!"

My laughter abates a little and I ask, "what are you here for?"

"I started it," she snickers, "so I'm guilty as an instigator. Assaulting the royal personage is a capital offense."

We look into each other’s eyes and start laughing again.

"We're screwed." I say.

"Royally," she adds.

Our chuckles die as the doors are opened and two of the sternest members of the Lunar Guard come to escort us to the throne room. We try to straighten ourselves as much as possible but my uniform and her fuku are stained with a mish-mash of fruit juice and pastry fillings. By the time we stand before Queen Serenity and King Halcyon we muster as much dignity and solemnity as can be when covered in whipped cream. I kneel and Hope curtsies until Serenity bids us rise. "Be at ease," Halcyon commands, and we relax a bit. He seems to be quite amused by this but she is stone-faced.

"You stand before us, charged with a crime akin to treason," Serenity says seriously, "explain yourselves."

Senshi Mercury takes a breath and began, "Well, your majesties..."

"I expressed ideas and opinions that were offensive and provoked a fight," I say break in quickly, "Senshi Mercury wished to take a blow-hard down a peg and then it escalated from there. I take full responsibility and throw myself on the Mercy of your highnesses."

Mercury is a little thrown by my plea and hesitates. Trying to decide whether or not to say anything when Serenity speaks, "And what was this opinion that would cause my most level-headed guard to throw food at you?"

"That the Senshi were always female because they are the gentler sex," I answer putting the best face on my actions.

"Really?" Halcyon asks with a wry smile.

I rub the knot on my head and say, "in most instances, your majesty."

"And you disagreed with him that we are more reserved?" Serenity asked Mercury.

"Yes your majesty," she said shuffling he feet a little.

"So you hit him with a cream puff," she says in a leading fashion.

"Yes, your majesty," Mercury said guiltily.

"Ferrite, during the exchange, you encouraged princess Serena to join in?"

"Er, yes ma'am"

"Why?"

"She was struck by a poorly aimed... cherry tart I believe it was."

"Oh, definitely cherry," Mercury agrees.

"The strawberry looks similar," Halcyon conjectures.

"No, it was definitely cherry," I say definitively. Then catching Serenity's glare I continue, "In any event, it is not permissible that an assault on the lunar royal family go unpunished so, in the spirit of interplanetary cooperation, I aided princess Serenity in bringing the culprits to heel."

"And that would be?"

"Nephrite and elder Venus."

"And how was that accomplished."

"Tanna fruit, your majesty, slightly over-ripe tanna fruit."

"I see..." Halcyon says imagining the scene.

"And then?"

"Ferrite bravely took a pie that was meant for Serena," Mercury says. "Right in the face," she adds, "without flinching."

"Hmm..." Serenity mused.

"It was then that you hit my wife with a cantaloupe?" Halcyon asked.

"I was attempting to retaliate against Jupiter's perfidity for making an attempt on the princess' royal person and took aim at the largest female target." I flinch under Serenity's icy cold look and add, "Largest in the sense of height, you majesty. I was using my positional awareness so I couldn't actually see..."

"Ah!" Halcyon exclaims as I make that point. "So you did not willfully and intentionally assault her."

"No your majesty," I say seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, "I was attempting to defend the princess."

"After that," Mercury interjects, "the fight ended when Serenity used the Ginzuishou to subdue Ferrite."

"You used the power of the Imperium Crystal on someone?" Halcyon asked Serenity in amazement.

"Not exactly," Mercury qualified.

"I hit him with a watermelon," Serenity says her eyes flashing and nostrils flaring at the memory.

"My dear, sweet, gentle Serenity..." Halcyon says in shock, "hit a Guardian of Terra with a watermelon."

"Hard," I add.

"It flew like a cannonba..." Mercury falls silent when she sees Serenity's glare.

King Halcyon first tries to stifle his chuckles and then explodes into uproarious laughter. He pounds on the arm of his throne as tears of mirth start to stream out of his eyes. Serenity maintains her regal bearing but a smile comes to her lips and her eyes crinkle in humor. At last, her husband's infectious laughter elicits a chuckle from her. They share a look that wordlessly communicates their feelings and then Halcyon speaks wiping the tears from his eyes, "Ferrite, for providing us with such amusement and assaulting the royal person we find you guilty of treason. Off with his head." I gulp in disbelief at the death sentence he has so casually thrown out and Mercury gasps in shock. The guards start forward but are halted when Serenity says, "However, I pardon you for your crimes." She smiles slightly at me and adds, "How fortunate for you Ferrite, that I am of the gentler sex."

After the King and Queen have another good laugh at my expense Mercury and I are dismissed. Outside, in the hall, we both breathe heavy sighs of relief. "That was close," I say, "the best I hoped for was to lose my post." "I calculated my sentence at twenty years at hard labor," Mercury says. We share a glance and smile. "Looks like we both lucked out," I say. Unconsciously we comfortably fall into step as I walk her back to her quarters. "Still, I wouldn't mind sharing your company on the chain-gang," I say. She smiles and blushes slightly.

When we reach her apartments, we stand there a moment and look at one another. "Thanks," she says, "you were going to take whatever punishment came. You're a good man." I reach up and wipe a bit of jam off her cheek; she reciprocates by plucking a bit of crust out of my hair. "I guess we'd better go get cleaned up," I say embarrassed. "Yes," she says dreamily. I take a half step back and click my heels. She salutes back and then extends her hand to me. I take it and kiss it; her hand tastes of pastries. Her grip tightens on mine and, using a bit of her Senshi strength, she pulls me to her. Drawing me into an embrace she kisses me and her lips taste of strawberries.

* * *

I look over at the princess illuminated by my flashlight and try to imagine her as the ten-year old that sat on my shoulder and merrily hurled fruit at the Senshi. "What's so funny?" She asks catching my expression. "Just a memory from long ago," I answer.

The sound of digging gets closer and we hear the muffled sounds of conversation. Usagi says over her communicator, "you sound very close, you're almost here." We hear a tapping on the tip of the umbrella and we hear Rei call out, "I've found it." The sounds of digging come very close as we hear the Senshi uncover the rocks from around my umbrella.

We stand up and dust ourselves off. She's anxious to get out of this enclosed space and starts to fidget. I take my flashlight down and say, "Tell them to stand back a bit, and I'll get us out the last few feet." She does so and I tell her to hold on to my back. When she does I grasp the shaft of the umbrella and call forth the magic again. The shaft lengthens pushing the last of the scrabble aside and lifts us clear of the pit we are in. A half step and we are standing on the edge of the pit. My umbrella snaps back to its normal size and I close it and hang it on my arm. "Don't worry we're both all ri..." I notice I'm conspicuously alone and the Senshi are clustered around Sailor Moon fretting over her.

"There doesn't seem to be any lasting harm," Mercury says clinically but very relieved.

Jupiter gives Sailor Moons shoulder a squeeze and says, "Looks like you toughed it out pretty well."

"When those rocks fell on you," Venus says, "My heart was in my sleeve." The Senshi look embarrassed for a moment and then Artemis corrects, "No, that’s in my mouth."

"Why would my heart be in your mouth, Artemis?" Venus asks the cat. Everyone else ignores this and continues.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Mars asks anxiously.

Sailor Moon nods and says, "Yes, thanks to Trenchcoat Mask-sama." She looks over at me and beams.

"Ahem!" I clear my throat a little uncomfortably at the honorific and answer, "You're welcome. With Endymion under the Dark Kingdom's control, you cannot hesitate to act again. He may have been your friend once, but he is not now."

"Humph!" Jupiter agrees, "he's right. Now that we know you're the princess, It's our job to protect you."

"Trenchcoat mask-sama," Luna begins.

"Uh, yeah..." I acknowledge.

"When you spoke with me at the restaurant, you said you'd have to speak with Endymion before you could tell us more of what you know. Now that he is held under their sway, can you tell us more?"

At that moment, I feel something. Ever since the Starlight tower I've been feeling some of my Guardian abilities coming back. Someone has opened a hole in space nearby. I carefully glance around using the corners of my eyes and then I see it: a slight distortion in the air. We're being watched. The eyes of Beryl are upon us. No doubt she's looking to see what the aftermath of Kunzite's attack was. I pause for a second and then decide what I'm going to do.

"Yes," I say to the Senshi but loud enough for anyone eavesdropping, "I'll tell you everything but first I must ask a boon of you. Back in the Silver Millennium, A curse was laid upon me by Beryl. It has haunted me through all those years and I beg of you to try and expunge it with your healing magic."

The Senshi are a bit surprised by my request and look at each other. "Well, I don't know if it'll work, but I'm willing to try," Sailor Moon says.

"Maybe a fire reading would be a good idea first," Mars says.

"Perhaps I can gather data," Mercury suggests.

"Is this really the place for that?" Jupiter asks.

"Aw, go ahead," Venus says, "after all, he who hesitates is late."

Artemis looks like he's going to correct her but I break in before they can get side tracked, "Please free me from this evil magic."

"Well, okay," Moon says.

She reaches into the air and the Crescent Moon wand, with the silver crystal in its cusp, appears. She holds it before her face and I see streamers of light swirl towards it as she draws on its power. "Moon… Princess..." she says as she starts to trace a circle in the air.

Then I strike! With a quick jab to her nose I stun her and snatch the wand away. The other Senshi stand there in complete shock. In that instant I take a squeeze bottle out of my pocket and spray them in the face with a special mixture I have whipped up. The spice isle of the supermarket has all the ingredients you need to make some particularly vile pepper gas analog. I make sure to really give Mercury a good dose; her visor makes her the most dangerous.

Jupiter, farthest from me, managers to protect her eyes; still, she’s partially blinded. Despite that, she takes a clumsy swing at me but I duck it. Barely in time, I leap up and away to avoid a foot sweep from Venus who strikes out at me despite her blindness. I take off running as fast as I can. I’ll only have a few seconds so I’d better put some distance between them and me. Carefully, I stash the Crescent Moon Wand in my pocket being sure to avoid any contact with the Silver Crystal. When I withdraw my hands I pull out my crowbar and disguise wand.

Rounding the corner of a warehouse I heave the crowbar as far as I can and mutter a few words to invoke the disguise magic. Kicking over a trashcan, I flop down in the refuse though I had just been knocked off my feet. Raising my fist, I effect a drunken slur and shout, "Baka yaroo!" My arm is still upraised just as Jupiter comes pelting around the corner with the others right behind her.

She sees a scruffy homeless man laying there and shouting, "Why don't you look where you're going you're..." At that moment the crowbar lands with an audible clang around the far corner. Jupiter barely looks at me as she goes running off in the direction of the noise with the cats hot on her heels. Mars and Venus are close behind with Moon leading a thoroughly blinded Mercury as fast as she can. Moon pauses to look at me with a little concern and, seeing that I'm all right, hurries off with Mercury after her compatriots. I shuffle around the opposite corner and take off in a different direction.

When I reach the street I change my appearance to a middle aged salary man. I walk disguised like that for a few blocks and go into the subway. In the subway restroom, I change again into a high school student. On the way back to my apartment, I change my appearance many times to make sure I've shaken any pursuit. Just to be double sure, I glance around using the corners of my eyes to make sure no spy spells are watching either. Finally, I close the door to my apartment and breathe a sigh of relief.

I hated doing that, but I sensed the Dark Kingdom was watching and this was my only chance. It's best that the evil ones know I have the Ginzuishou. That way they must deal with me and me alone. After all, I have to have something they will trade for the Prince.

To be concluded in Trenchcoat Mask 10: Into the Dark Kingdom.

Apologies to all who I have made wait. That "real life" thing keeps interfering.

The Elder Senshi of the Sailor Moon Expanded Silver Millennium are:

Mercury: Hope, Venus : Eris, Mars : Prichaia, Jupiter : Ariel

Guardians in order of Seniority in this story are:

Anchorite, Goshenite, Kunzite, Nephrite, Ferrite

Sorry Prichaya, Aponar informs me there is no ‘Y’ in Martian so I spelled it differently.

FDB - November 8, 1998