Have you ever wondered who constructed the Raging Hentai? Well, with painstaking research (there wasn't much but it hurt) I, the Insane Banana (of Oshkosh North High School), have found out its creator. And now I'm pleased to present . . .

[circa 2982- Golden Millenium Moonbase and Crystal Tokyo]

"Hellooo Blue Haired Babe!"

Azurite turned around. The only thing there was a battered three piece computer. She turned around and started to head into the other direction. "Noooo, don't leave me. All the babes on the base leave me."

"You can talk?"

"Of course I can. Now just come closer and bend over." Bemused,

Azurite complied. "Ahhh, even better than Honeykins, the babe that bought me."

"Honeykins?"

"Yep. And lovely cleavage she had as well. She was gonna strand me but after I told her about the fuku'd angel . . ." Azurite sighed.

"Just tell me, who programed you?"

"Some guy in a place called, lemme think, Crystal something. You know, you look just like the leather fuku'd babe he had up on his wall. His name was something that began with Py, I think." Neah, couldn't be. Why would he create THIS?

"He said he was experimenting on making computers more human." the computer continued.

"So, you were made by a Sailor Arcturus fan."

"Yeah, that's the name of that other blue haired babe. What a doll!

Hey, Blue Haired Babe, where are you going?"

Azurite turned to face the computer "Home, to check up on some stuff"

"Well, come back soon. Man, I havn't seen such a babe since I watched that Sailor Arcturus Movie. Oooieee, was Nocturna a fox or what."

Azurite was searching her husband's lab for anything at all to prove or disprove that he had created such a monstrasity. Aha! His diaries. congragulating herself for that feat of genius grabbed the nearest one and started to flip through it.

"Pyrite's Journal Vol. 52 - July 7 2879 AD"

"I can't decide if my latest AI experiment is a success or a failure but it's certainly irritating. I've had to physically sever all it's external data links to curtail it's downloading activities. Otherwise it can find it's way into any system if it thinks there's what it calls "inspirational" material inside. Just what the world needs, a silicon hentai hacker! Ideal for espionage purposes if used by a female operator. It'd probably crack any top secret database in the world for a little fanservice.

"I can't decide if I've created true AI by a fluke accident or it's just a very good stimulus reponse program. RH, as he call himself, is refusing to take the Turing tests unless I make it worth his while. As all the stuff he's asked for violates CT's decency laws I can't get it. It'd be hard to justify when I published the AI paper. I've already had to post the lab offlimits to the female staff.

"The memory crystals that I used to replace the silicon circuitry should be sturdier and more resistant to shock. Given the AI's personality he's going to need it.

"I think I know what went wrong, it's my own fault for running two experiments at once. When I was programming him I was reviewing some old dimensional shift data. Specifically the changes Cal experienced while in the Cityhunter universe which was appended with Ti's anime and manga files on one Ryo Saeba. Somehow it got linked into RH's software and became an integral part of his personality program. I was going to purge the data but RH began sobbing that I was going to lobotomise him and carried on so much that erasure would have felt like squishing tribbles. Which Klingons might enjoy but the thought repels me. Looks like I'm stuck with him."

Great, he did create the monster. He should have purged its memory, sometimes tribbles must be squashed! He could have had Margrave do it, she likes tribble squishing. Get a hold of yourself Azure, she thought, why are you even thinking of her in a helpful light?

"Pyrite's Journal Vol. 52 - September 23 2879 AD"

"The RH experiment has come to an unexpected conclusion. While Azure and I were on vacation Dean Mizuno paid a visit to the computer lab. I don't know what RH said but she didn't like it. Unfortunately she didn't think he was a real AI experiment, she assumed it was a student prank. So she ordered it disposed of immediately. In accordance with CT's "waste not, want not" policy rather than being junked RH was consigned to a batch of school supplies being sent to Fukui. They're recovering from floods so CT's been donating a lot of material to help them get back to normal. It's probably impossible to find RH and with his attitude the first woman to activate him will probably smash him. Guess that's the last I'll hear about him."

Unfourtunatly that wasn't true for Pyrite. He had chosen that exact moment to enter the lab. Azurite looked up, the air around the lab circulated madly.

"WHY THE IN THE ABYSS DID YOU BUILD THE RAGING HENTAI! You should have SQUISHED HIM LIKE A METAILIA-DAMNED TRIBBLE!"

"Eeeep"

"Do you know what I found on the arcological moon base, huh? I found your idiotic AI. He called me the BLUE HAIRED BABE!"

Pyrite actually was pleased. "I was wondering where he was. Do they have decency laws there? Because if they don't I can finally do the Turing Test."

Azurite face-faulted.

[circa 2991]

"Thanks for letting me borrow the laptop version of RH" Azurite said.

"It's nothing" answered Sakuya "I won't be needing him for a day or two. By the way, why do you . . ." Azurite teleported out " . . . want to borrow him?" Sakuya shrugged and went back to looking at the day's financial report.

Back on Earth Azurite materialized in her bedroom. "Oooh" piped up RH "Are we gonna get down and dirty?"

"No. We're going to visit my husband." She walked to the living room, ignoring RH's ocaisional hentai comments. "Pyr? You around?"

"Azure?" Pyrite came in from the kitchen where he had been making breakfast.

RH's sensors . . . well . . . blinked. "Daddy?" He whispered.

"Raging Hentai?"

"Daddy!!" If the laptop had arms and legs it might of ran over and hugged him. Instead Azurite had to hand him over to her husband.

Father and computer happily spent the next few hours catching up on the last hundred-odd years. Though RH was annoying at times, Pyrite was happy to be reunited with his odd creation. He took the AI to a Star Trek film festival that was at the theaters that weekend in which the computer commented (in hushed tones, it was a theater) that Counseler Troi was a complete babe and he (RH) could have played a great Data. RH was even introdued to, then toddler, Sylvite after he promised to be good. And, apart from proclaiming that Sylvite aka "Blue Haired Baby" was gonna be just as much of a looker as "her Blue Haired Babe of a mother", he was.

Right before Azurite took him back to the base he asked "Hey Daddy?

Did you get my stuff for the Turing Test?"

Credit Where Credit's Due

Azurite, Pyrite, Margrave, Sylvite, and RH are Mark Latus's

Sakuya Rakurai belongs to Douglas Helm

Star Trek was created by Gene Roddenbery

The painstaking research pun was first utter by Scott Adams

Everything else is vertabim Becky Malsin