Sailormoon Expanded: Tales from Other Worlds

Rhi and Ti's Excellent Adventures

written by Becky Malsin

Chapter Three: Return to Nerima

Akane was staring up at the stars, looking for Polaris, her favourite star as it was the only one she knew of that merited a Senshi. Suddenly, above Ranma's head, there seemed to be a glowing patch of sky. She heard someone shout "Bombs away!" and from that piece of sky fell a green haired girl.

CRASH! "Are you okay?" Akane asked the girl. Then, looking closer, she exclaimed "Ti-chan!!"

"In the flesh!" grinned Titanite (for that was who the girl was) "Good thing Ranma broke my fall." Akane looked at her squished fiancé. He was starting to rise when another girl crashed onto him, this one carrying a silver contraption that reminded Akane of Sailor Pluto's Time Staff.

"D'oh," said the second girl, "I centered the gateway on Ranma the person, not Ranma's world. Well, live and learn." Ranma slowly got up and staggered in the other direction, getting dangerously close to the ornamental fish pond.

The girl who came with Ti raised her staff into the air. The glowing patch in the sky started to shrink. Suddenly a third, smaller girl dove out of the glowing portal and rammed into Ranma, toppling him into the fish pond. When the now female Ranma emerged, she looked daggers at Titanite. "Why me?" she asked the sky.

The third girl emerged from the pond. "Oh, Rhi's being official. I guess I better change my clothes. TITAN MOON POWER, Make up!"

The silver haired girl turned around. "WART! What are you doing here?"

The short girl replied, "I followed you, of course. I'd like to know what you're doing here."

"What _I'm_ doing here? You're supposed to be back at the shrine with the others, not following me and Ti around!"

"You're supposed to be there too. I don't see why you can go out at all hours, just because you're the oldest."

The other snorted, "And wisest probably. Can't I have one blinking night of privacy? Is it too much to ask?"

"But Randy said-"

"Screw Randy, Wart. She's not your keeper." It was evidentally an old argument.

"Maybe we should go inside now," said Akane. "We can sort this all out there."

"Good idea," said the silver haired one. "C'mon Ranma, you too. We can have some tea. And maybe some of Kasumi's cookies?" she finished hopefully. Titanite slung Ranma over her shoulder and they all proceeded in while Ranma screamed about being man-handled. As soon as all were ensconced around the table, Akane really looked at her other two guests.

The first was small, almost roly-poly. She was tan of skin and had black hair and eyes, perhaps part-Hispanic. She had the kind of face that looks like all it wants to do is smile. She wore a sailor fuku, like Ti and the other girl. Her bows and glove edges were midnight blue and her skirt, collar, and boots were a maroon purple. Akane remembered vaguely that Titan was a moon of Saturn.

The second was moderately tall and well-built, though not to the extremes of Sailor Jupiter. Her fair skin and glowing silver hair and bespectacled eyes made her look like a statue of ice. Her fuku had blue bows and the rest was rainbow patterned except for the white leotard and a six-sided star as a brooch. What were those stars called? Star of Davis? But the whole ambiance of the girl . . . When Akane was little she had loved to read from her book of Fairy Tales. She decided that this girl looked like an elf.

Ranma was filling a pot to boil, muttering about crazy gaijin. Why did things like this always happen to her? And why the hell did that crazy Sailor Polar Bear have to bring more gaijin in fuku? One was enough!

"It would be useful to know what you all are doing here." said Nabiki, coming down the stairs to get a snack.

"Oh, hi," said Akane, startled. "These are friends of mine."

"Fiends is closer to the truth," mumbled Ranma. Nabiki shot the group an inquisitive look and then shrugged, grabbed a cookie, and left the room.

"Um . . . Ti . . . will you introduce your friends?" Akane asked.

"Why don't we introduce ourselves," said the silver haired girl "My name is Rhiannon McIntyre, known to a select few as Sailor Charon. I come from a different Sailor Moon dimension that Ti."

"And I'm Corrinna Hoffman," said the small one, "Also known to Usagi & co. as Sailor Titan, though most people call me the Wart. I'm from the same dimension as Rhi."

Akane looked a bit confused. "Maybe we should start from the beginning." said Titanite.

"Quite right." nodded Rhi "Where should I start . . .?" Rhi told of the events immediately preceeding those occurring. Hence, my readers, it needs no repeating. " . . . so that's how Ti and I met. All I want to know is why Wart was following me. Although I have a sneaking suspicion . . ."

"Randy told me to. Akane, Randy is Sailor Earth. She's the leader of us Lunar Senshi."

"Lunar Senshi?"

"Basically we're the sisters of the regular Senshi in Rhi's and my world. All the planets have us except Mercury, Venus, and maybe Jupiter. And Rhi says that there are Lunar Senshi for those planets, they're just lost. But that's just our world. I think it might be different where Ti comes from." The youma girl nodded.

"What I would like to know," Rhi said, fuming, "is what makes Randy think that I need to be tailed and nursemaided. I've been travelling dimensions since she was in diapers!"

"Rhi! Calm down," begged the Wart. "You can wait 'til we get home to scream at Randy."

"I s'pose," sighed Rhiannon. "I just get so mad at her sometimes. I mean, before she thought the Senshi were satanic and now she's acting like she invented them, just because she's been visited by a Moon Cat."

"Why did she think they were satanic?" asked a curious Akane.

"She was a Christian of the Baptist variety. While I have nothing against Christianity, in fact I started this life as a Roman Catholic, it does give a lot of things a bad name. All the dogma against senshi finally went to her brain sometime in eighth grade. Of course finding out she was one made her a lot more ambivalent about them, had to for her own sanity. Randy just never does things half way." Rhiannon paused to catch her breath, then added, "By the way, Akane, can we stay her for a day or two?"

Akane thought fast. On one hand this meant more mouths to feed, more damage than usual would be done to the Dojo, and it would annoy the heck out of Ranma. On the other hand Ti was a lot of fun, housing Senshi would be interesting, and it would annoy the heck out of Ranma. There was really no real choice. "Of course you can." Ranma started to moan and bang her head on the table.

"Great" replied Rhi. She grabbed a tote bag out of thin air. "Hey, Ti. Help me get this out." She and Titanite tugged and tugged inside the bag and finally brought out . . .

"A KARAOKE MACHINE????"

"Yep! Since we're inconveniencing you from staying here we should provide something in return, mainly entertainment." Rhiannon grinned. "Ti, you or me first. And if Wart has her clarinet, she can play for us."

The Wart grabbed a clarinet out from the air, like one would with a henshin wand, and said "I'll go first. This may sound a little odd, because I'm not using the flute, but Jay just taught me it and I think it's a pretty cool song." Then she started playing and one could almost hear the words to the song . . .

"Alas my love, you do me wrong to cast me off discourteously . . ."

"Who's Jay?" whispered Akane. By that time everyone had moved to the opposite side of the room from the machine and performer. It was sort of like a make shift stage.

"A guy we know that bears a strange resemblance to Jadeite." Rhiannon whispered back "We think he might be a reincarnation but we aren't sure. 'Greensleeves' is his favorite song and he teaches anyone who's willing to play it."

" . . . Greensleeves, my heart of gold, And who but my lady Greensleeves."

Corrinna bowed and went back to her seat. "Who's next?"

Akane whispered something to Ti and the latter nodded and said

"Okay, my turn. Don't say I didn't warn you . . .

"Gomen ne sunao ja nakute
Yume no naka nara ieru
Shikou kairo wa shotto sunzen
Ima sugu aitai yo
Nakitaku naru you na Moonlight
Denwa mo dekinai Midnight
Datte junjou dou shiyou
Hatto wa mangekyou"

"Dude!" gasped Rhiannon, softly "She's doing 'Moonlight Densetsu'! Why didn't I think of that?" She listened closely to the familiar tune. How many times had she stared across the screen, watching the opening credits,whether fansubs or the NA dub? And now she was part of the whole universe. Sometimes she was amazed at how things had turned out.

"Tsuki no Hikari ni michibikare
Nandomo meguri-au
Seiza no matataki kazoe
Uranau koi no yukue
Onaji kuni ni umareta no
Mirakuru Romansu
Shinjite iru no
Mirakuru Romansu "

Titanite's mezzo-soprano voice slowly died off on the last note. They all clapped, even Ranma. "Great" groaned Rhiannon "How am I supposed to go on after that?"

"Hah!" replied Ti "You know you're just as good as me. Don't go all humble on us."

"Okay, okay! I'll do it!" replied Rhi, smiling in spite of herself while she headed to the make-shift stage "Okay, what I'm gonna sing has been described by John Lennon as one of his favourites of the songs co-Beatle Paul McCartney wrote. I'm inclined to agree with him. Well, here goes nothing . . ."

"Your day breaks, your mind aches, you find that all your words of kindness linger on, when she no longer needs you.

She wakes up, she makes up, she takes her time and doesn't feel she needs to hurry, she no longer needs you.

And in her eyes you see nothing, no sign of love beyond the tears cried for no one, a love that should have lasted years.

You want her, you need her, and yet you don't believe her, when she says her love is dead, you think she needs you.

And in her eyes you see nothing, no sign of love beyond the tears cried for no one, a love that should have lasted years.

You stay home, she goes out, she says that long ago she knew someone but now, he's gone, she doesn't need him.

Your day breaks, your mind aches, there will be times when all the things she said will fill your head, you won't forget her.

And in her eyes you see nothing, no sign of love beyond the tears cried for no one.

A love that should have lasted years."

"See!" accused Ti, "You were good." Rhi blushed feverishly.

"You're prejudiced on my behalf." A quarrel might have developed, but the quintet heard a hissing sound from behing them. Ranma's kettle was starting to boil over.

"Finally!" Ranma cried. She grabbed it and one quick transformation later he was back to his old self. The Wart's eyes were bugging out.

"Wha-what happened to you? You're a guy!"

"I'm _supposed_ to be a guy. See, I was training with Pop at these springs in China . . . " Ranma had gotten as far as getting his head bashed by Akane's well-aimed table when Rhiannon interupted him.

"_Anyway_, it's getting late. We'll finish explanations in the morning." And with that Rhiannon stuffed the karioke machine in her bag. She then reached in it again and brought out a sleeping bag that she placed at her side. She grabbed another one from the bag and tossed it to Ti. She tossed a final sleeping bag at the Wart. "Good thing I always carry a spare." She rummaged around a little more, pulling out an old Cabbage Patch (tm) doll.

"You finally won," Corrinna said, thoughtfully.

"Hmmmm?"

"You've been trying to get me to watch your 'Ranma' tapes with you for months! Now you've gotten me stranded in the universe. Some times I think you do this on purpose."

"I didn't! But that makes me think that somebody did." She cast a meaningful glance skyward. Becky!, she thought, Why'd you do that to me! And to Wart too!

The Wart shook her head and started to unroll the sleeping bag. Titanite had also began to get herself ready for bed. Rhiannon placed her sleeping bag between the two, untransformed into pajamas, and lay her head down on her pillow. "Goodnight, everybody." Akane said as she started to creep up the stairs. The trio were out already. She sighed and switched off the light.

Why do people always say that warm milk will help you sleep? Akane wondered. It never helped her. Not that she could ever warm up the milk without disaster. She always burnt it, which might have been why it never worked. As she lay awake that night she suddenly had an idea. I can't make hot milk but even I'm able to pour out some refrigerated milk. I can see if the chilled version of the recipe works.

Akane crept down to the kitchen. She noticed that the screen on the porch was open and she went over to close it. Wait, the middle sleeping bag in front of the screen was empty! Shimatta! Where had that Rhiannon girl gone?

Akane ran outside. Oh, there she was. On the roof. ON THE ROOF? Oh great. How was she supposed to get the girl back to her bed? Since she was a Senshi, and even the weakest of the Senshi could kick Akane's butt, brute force was out. So Akane would have to talk her down.

Shrugging, Akane bounded up to the roof. Being a near super-powered martial artist had it's advantages. "Hello," she said to Rhi.

"Oh. Hello Akane." Odd, she seemed a lot older than she did than she did an hour ago. "Funny thing, even though your stars are different than they were when I was young they still soothe me like they did then."

"When you were young?"

"Yes, around 15,000 years ago. Of course I was out of commission for about 13,000 years so I'm really not that old." Wow. Rhi said she was old but this old?

"Oh" Come on, Akane. Say something else "Um . . . why would you need soothing tonight?"

Rhiannon looked straight at her. It was a strange, sad, scary gaze, full of meaning. Why had Akane thought she was a girl her age? You just needed to look into those old eyes to see that this was an immortal being. "Have you ever had the doom of your everything you held dear and know it was all your fault? That it all happened because of some silly selfish wish of yours?"

"Rhiannon . . . what happened?" She might be talking about the fall of the Silver Millennium in her world. Kamisama, is she saying the fall was her fault?

"Even Beryl had a mother." The words were a bomb in the air. For the love of Serenity! This was Beryl's mother? This child-woman? "It was my fault." she continued "I longed for a child, a little girl to raise as my own. I had Setsuna help me find the one that I wished to have as my child's father so I could lie with that man and make a child, three of them, actually. "

Whoa, thought Akane. "Lie with him?"

"That is how a child is made, Akane. Don't look so shocked. It is rather hard to remain a virgin longer than a millennium. For me it took nearly two."

"Uh . . . yeah." Sheeesh. Akane blushed. "And this has to do with?"

"Now Setsuna feels guilty for it, as well, when it was my fault beginning to end."

Akane had to console the girl somehow. Then she could get her off the roof and back to bed. "Doesn't Setsuna know the future?" she heard herself asking.

"She knows the possible futures, yes."

"Then she probably knew what would happen because you had your child, and yet she still helped you." Rhiannon looked as if she hadn't even considered that. Akane took a deep breath and thought fast. "Rhi, your sister helped you out of love, the same reason you wanted a child. For love! Doing things out of love is the noblest reason to do things. Bad things may come out of it but the reason survives." The words seemed to tumble out of her mouth. It was like she wasn't actually saying them, like some one was speaking though her. Maybe she was channeling the spirit of Naoko Takeuchi.

"The intent justifies both ends and means? I wish I could believe that but I'm no longer innocent enough."

"Well, if you can't, believe that you were innocent in bearing your daughter. You didn't know what she would become."

The girl smiled and looked Akane straight in the eyes again. "Thank you, Akane. For helping me see that small thing at least. Though I do think you should listen to yourown advice, ne?"

"Um . . . yeah" What was Rhi talking about? Akane shrugged. "C'mon.

Let's get down of this roof and to bed, okay?"

"All right." They started down. "Ranma is lucky to have you, Akane." Rhi laughed while the two were climbing "I just wish he would admit it. You two are perfect for each other."

"What?!?"

"You are a strong girl, Akane. You need a husband just as strong as you. And Ranma needs you. I know he blusters, but do you really think he'd be happy with a cutesy feminine girl. He needs a tomboy like you. Not someone he has to protect but someone to stand with him."

They were almost to the ground now. Akane thought about what Dr. Tofu had said a long time ago, about finding a husband stronger than herself. She had replied that she'd already found him, meaning the good doctor himself. She would have told him that but just then Kasumi came for a visit . . .

"C'mon Akane. Please snap out of it." Oh, they were just a short jump from the ground. She took the last leap and Rhi followed her down and into the house. Akane felt strangely tired and decided that she didn't need the milk. She silently tiptoed upstairs.

Rhiannon leaned onto her sleeping bag, picking up her doll and stroking it. Funny, after she had told Akane about her great mistake she felt almost released. It was odd, here in Nerima. She had been prepared for chaos when she journeyed here, but instead it was more quiet. Oh well, maybe she hadn't been assimilated into the pattern yet. And there would probably be enough chaos tomorrow to make up for tonight. Odd thing, she felt somewhat linked here, like she hadn't since she lost Gwyndion . . .

Brendan Muraino also couldn't sleep. He stared out of the giant French window that lead out to the balcony of his room. He opened the door and stepped out. Whistled.

Out from the black night came two white shapes. "Twoowhoo" came the cry. Brenadan whistled again calling the snow owls towards him. "There, there Kaleah" he murmured as he stroked the female's feathers. He scratched the male's back. "Hallo, Chorenos."

He smiled at his birds. When he was little he used to imagine they could talk. Sometimes he still did. "I had the dreams again." Both of them? Kaleah cooed. "Yes, both. The dying dream and the girl dream. This time, though, the girl dream was the most vivid." Usually he remembered the dying dream better but tonight the girl was strongest.

Bren! You need to sleep! Chorenos hooted. "True enough" the youth replied "I will be checking out our new school tomorrow. I want to be in good shape before I meet with Principal Kuno." From what Brendan had heard the Kunos were sort of the leading family in this district. He also had heard that they were the most eccentric.

He stroked the feathers of his birds once more and grinned softly. He strode into the room and shut the doors. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he winked at the tow-headed form in Yoda resplendent pajamas. His long white hair was out of its pony tail and his grey eyes looked odd when not framed by glasses. Ugh, he thought, I look like a flat girl. I have nothing against bishouen but this is going too far. Not that I'm not dangerously close to it even when dressed.

You look like Kunzite, whispered a voice in his mind. "I do not! His hair is greener! And why am I comparing myself to some cartoon villain?" There was no answer. All was still.

Brendan lay back on his sheets, closed his eyes. She was there, his dream girl. Elven features that he knew by heart. Hair that was pale and silvery like his own. Old eyes that were a blazing silver. She was whispering something. "Love you"

"Love you too" How long had he been dreaming about her? He couldn't remember when he hadn't. He even gave her a name, Khali-Opeah no Karios. The first part he had made up, it sounded vaguely Egyptian and he read somewhere that the second part was the name of real time, either that or God's time. He only knew that it suited her.

When he was little he had thought of Khali-Opeah as a his real mother. That was nonsense, of course. His mother had died while giving birth, and, as she had no husband or next of kin, the hospital had placed him up for adoption, putting him in the city orphanage. He had been nearly a year old when Yoshi and Kyoto came.

Kyoto Muraino (nee Oba) had been barren. She and her husband, Yoshi, also had been the owners of a hot new software company, at a time when computers were coming into their own. With Kyoshiko doing so well, they could now adopt to their heart's content. Their first stop had been the San Francisco orphanage.

They asked for a child that the city had trouble placing. They ended up with four. Two year old Laurel, a spacey toddler with a mother on soft drugs. Phobic Seraphina, the only fifteen-monther who was scared to be outside her crib. Rude Katrina, eighteen months, who's first words were insults. And Brendan. Weird, pale, Brendan with his odd dreams and distractedness. Yoshi and Kyoto had loved each of them at first sight.

Over the years, the business thrived and with it the four children. When Brendan was eight the Murainos moved the business back to their parent's Tokyo. The children were promptly enrolled in two Ayashi schools, one for girls, the other for boys. Laurel, Sera, and Katie's was upscale, a virtual prep school complete with nuns. Brendan's was crowded with children of martial artists, a venerable war zone at lunch. None of them were happy at the new schools, even Sera who was a little prissy, a headstart for finishing school.

All of were teased by their classmates. They were crazy gaijin who spoke imperfect, accented Japanese, the others said. Laurel got into fistfights constantly. More clever Katie always avoided physical violence, but would weave a net of words that would confound both tormenters and teachers. Sera came home crying each night. Brendan just became more inward, screening out the teasing children until they thought him mad.

The catalyst came last summer. Kyoto and Yoshi had taken the long way home, through Nerima, at the wrong time. It was a fight between a wrinkled old guy and a local teen, both martial artists. As usual, a lot of damage was done to the area and people were hurt. Unusually, three fatally, Kyoto and Yoshi included.

Suddenly Brendan found that he had a cause in life that was more than his usual tinkering with computers and mathematics. To wit: avenge his adopted parents by hunting down those two martial artists, perhaps also others of their brethren. Which was why he had convinced his sisters to come with him to the heart of the beast.

LK&S had come to his side soon enough. When you did think of it, his argument was logical. Sure, knowing self-defense was useful but Brendan felt that there was something intrinsically _wrong_ about people who made it their entire life. As a rule, they were territorial, macho, and unaware of how much damage their shenanigans caused. Leeches to society.

Brendan steeled himself away from those raging thoughts, towards better things. His dream-girl spoke once more. "I'll come for you, my love. I'm looking for you. Please look for me." Then she was gone from his sight.

"I'll look for you" he whispered.

" . . . Look for me." Rhiannon whispered. She sat up. The sun was just rising. She looked onto her companions. "Great, they're still asleep." she groaned softly. Looking both ways ways to make sure that nobody was watching, she quickly changed into jeans and a blue smock-like blouse. She crept her way into the kitchen. "Hello Kasumi."

"Oh! You're Akane's friend Rhiannon, right?" Rhi nodded. "Want to help me make breakfast?

"Love to. How 'bout we make pancakes."

"Great idea." replied Kasumi "Go get the flour" This provoked a frenzy to find the needed materials. Pans flew through the air. When they opened the flour sack it exploded on their faces.

"Dharma, dharma, dharma, dharma . . . Dharma Chameleon. You chase Ukyou, you chase Ukyou-oh" sang Rhiannon as she started to flip the pancakes. Her hands flew at lightning speed. It was a performance worthy of Ukyou.

"Why did you choose to make pancakes?" asked Kasumi.

"I'm not sure" replied Rhi, who honestly wasn't "I've just been hungry for pancakes ever since I got here." She then glanced behind her.

"Oh, hello Ranma. Want some pancakes?"

"Only if Akane hasn't been anywhere near them, McIntyre-san"

"Right now she's asleep" Rhi replied "And please call me Rhi-chan"

Ranma looked long and hard at the visitor. She did seem slightly mad, as all Akane's friends did, but it was more of Ukuyo's ambient madness than Kodachi's psychotic madness. "Okay, Rhi-chan." Rhiannon flipped him a half-dozen cakes. He dug into his stack and smiled. "These are great, Rhi-chan."

"Thanks, Ran-chan." She looked around and then whispered "Don't tell anyone but sometime today I'm gonna splash Mousse and make him my pet. Maybe I could call him D-chan or maybe Mumu-chan."

Ranma laughed "And then we can introduce him to Ryouga. Mr. D meets Mr. P. What a pair!"

"What was that about Ryouga?" asked Ti as she crept into the room.

"Oh . . . nothing" said Rhi and Ranma simultaneously. They looked at each other, laughed again, and shrugged.

Akane then entered the room, followed by the Wart. "Yummy!

Pancakes!" said the latter.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" added the former "I could have helped."

"Then they would have been inedible" put in Ranma.

"Take that back! Or I'll tell Kuno that deep in your heart you love him. And I mean the female you."

"NEVER!!!!!"

This would have turned into a rather large row if Kasumi hadn't stuffed pancakes in both their mouths. "Now please be quiet." They swallowed and glared at each other.

"Hey Akane" asked Titanite, trying to stop the arguing "How about you and Ranma give us the grand tour today. I saw a little bit of it last time but this is their first time here."

"Sure. I guess you might not get an entirely accurate view of here from your anime tapes," that martial artist responded. Ti nodded.

"I'm only coming if that green haired juggernaut promises to behave" vowed Ranma.

Ti started to protest but Rhi put her hand over her friend's mouth. "Of course she will." She added sotto voce "Do this for me, Ti-chan" Titanite nodded and the five got on with their breakfast.

Wart tried to get conversation going. "Okay . . . so, you were beating up all those boys at school and then . . ." The explanation got as far as Akane's haircut that time.

About a half hour later Akane, Ranma, Ti, Rhi, and the Wart arrived at Furinkan High, their first stop. They were being watched.

The first of the two was deep in thought. A few weeks ago, he was pursuing that sorcerer who had a claim on his beloveds when two green-haired figures had caused an explosion. The last thing he had seen before he blacked out was the face of the smaller of the two, a beautiful girl. And now she had returned.

Brendan was also watching. One of the girls looked just like his Khali-Opeah. He watched her intensely, not sure what to do. She might not be Khali-Opeah, but what if she was? And what about his mission?

"Ah, aren't they beauteous?" said a voice behind him. Oh, it was just Principal Kuno's eldest. Tatewaki, he thought.

"Yes they are, Kuno-sempai. I especially like the white-haired one. Do you know who they are?" This was odd, the boy looked familiar too. Like he had gone to school with him.

"Only the names of two are known to me, sadly" Kuno replied "The small one and the white-haired I have never seen before and the green-haired girl, only once.

"Of the others the blue haired maiden is Akane Tendo. I wish someday to date with her, if it were not for Saotome. He is the youth with those girls and a powerful sorcerer. He has kept both Akane and the beautiful pig-tailed one captive in his clutches."

"Is he a martial artist?" Brendan asked curiously.

"Ah yes, and one most skilled, though no match for the Blue

Thunder's swordplay. Practicioners of those lesser disciplines are thick as thieves around here. Some are no better than thieves."

"I agree, Kuno-sempai. Fencing is indeed honorable, but street fighters such as they are little more than vermin. They have no respect for human life, I'm afraid." At least not his parent's life.

"Aye, and no accordance of bushido. Nothing more than upstarts, I'm afraid. Sadly to say, I have a ninja in my employ. I suppose they do have their uses but one wonders about the added bother."

Kuno did seem eccentric but he was the only one Brenadan knew here, and hence, the only Neriman that he trusted. Besides, he also understood Brendan's feeling about the hoodlums that called themselves martial artists. Which was why he did what he did. "Let us rescue the maidens, then, Kuno-sempai."

"Yes, let us." Kuno replied "Pity you don't have a bokken."

Brenadan un-hooked his toy lightsaber from his belt. "Will this work?"

Kuno looked it over "Yes, yes. That would do very well." he hissed.

"Let us go speedily and without haste, Muraino-kouhai."

They charged off in our heroines' general direction. "Save the green haired girl! Rescue Akane! Thine evil days are over, Saotome." "Don't worry girls, we'll rescue you! Death to martial artists!"

"Oh, great," groaned Ranma, "Kuno's at it, again"

"This time he has a helper, though" added Akane "I wonder who he roped into it."

"How about you take Kuno and I take his friend" suggested Titanite, shaping a Megamallet.

"Rhi . . . I'm confused" whimpered the Wart.

There was no answer. Rhiannon was staring at the younger of the two. "Gwyndion" she whispered "So this is where you are . . ."

When the two assailants finally reached our friends, Akane and Ti were ready for them. BAM! It seemed fitting that the last thing Kuno saw before he was malleted was Ti and the last thing Brendan saw was Rhi.

"Maybe we should interrogate them" said Rhi.

"One at a time, though" cautioned Ti.

"Didn't he call you the green haired girl" piped up the Wart "I think since you, Ranma, and Akane make him act weird like this, that you should question the other one. Rhi and I can handle this Kuno guy."

It did seem like a sensible plan. After Brendan was moved to another spot Rhi tied Kuno up and started to sort through her bag. "Cow, no. Manga, no. Peanut butter, useful but no. Ah, here it is." She took out a water bottle that looked like it came off a bike. "Banzai!" she giggled, squirting the water in Kuno's face, after she tied him to the ground.

"Wench! Where is Saotome? And where is Muraino-kouhai? The great Blue Thunder needs to know."

"Hey, Rhi" the Wart was pulling her sleeve "Do you have any disguises. I just saw this really hot babe and I want to track him. That is if you can handle this psycho by yourself."

Rhiannon took a tree costume from her bag "Yeah, you can go. Just meet us back at Akane's place in a few hours." The Wart nodded, suited up, and bounded off after a figure carrying a giant spatula . . .

"Kuno" she said sweetly, turning back to her captive "The ones you spoke of have left. If you tell me more about this Muraino-kouhai of yours then I'll let you go too."

"Foul tricks" he grumbled "But I'll oblige you, wench. My companion was a new student to our fair school. He goes by the gaijin name of Brendan, though he has lived in Nippon since he was eight. His family's wealth almost rivals that of my own, for they have made a mighty profit with electronics." He looked at Rhi with a pleading expression "And what of the green haired girl? Do you know of her?"

"You mean Ti? Oh . . . well . . . we're friends of Akane and we're visiting the Tendos. I guess I can let you go now." Rhi thought for a second and pulled out a Polaroid snapshot "Here, I took it this morning."

Kuno looked at the photo. There she was, his green haired angel, grinning over a stack of pancakes. Maybe this wench wasn't as bad as he thought. "I thank you, milady, and the house of Kuno will forever honour you, but please untie me!"

"Sorry, Kuno-san. I forgot." After Kuno was freed he bowed, kissed her hand, and started to walk away. "Hey, Kuno-san!" He turned. "Akane and Ti should be done interrogating your friend soon. Will you tell him that I think he's cute when you find him again?"

A few blocks away Titanite finally let go of her load. "Okay, now how are we gonna wake this guy?" she asked as she propped him against a tree. As if in response a nearby hose went spastic and sprayed them all.

Brendan looked over the girls in front of him. Being female, none of them could be one of the duelers that had so sealed his parent's fate. "You must be Akane and Kuno-san's pig-tailed and green haired girls. I'm glad to see that you're out of Saotome's clutches. I guess the rescue was successful, then. Where is Kuno-san, anyway?"

Great. He seemed to be just as deluded as Kuno. "Actually Kuno's with the others," corrected Akane.

He looked worried. "Oh no! Saotome must have captured him. Please allow me to pursue them."

"I can assure you that Saotome is no where near Kuno," replied Ranma, "and if you will answer some questions we'll let you go."

Brendan nodded. "Ask away."

"Who are you? How do you know Kuno? And why did you charge us?" The questions came in rapid fire succession.

"My name is Brendan Muraino. I have recently moved here and so far Kuno-san is the only person I know. I was introduced to him this morning. And the reason I charge you was because I had just been informed of your plight and wished to free you."

"Our plight?"

"Yes, Kuno-san told of how you all were being held captive by a vile sorcerer by the name of Ranma Saotome. I doubt his ability to work magic, but he is a martial artist and therefore the enemy. We are honorable men and of course wished to see you free."

Ranma sweatdropped. Brenadan ignored her and continued "Fair maidens, will you relate to me of the silver haired girl? I have never seen anyone that lovely." A rather dumb-looking expression graced his features as he sighed.

"Oh" Ti said "Well, Rhi is a gaijin, like me and you. We're sort of on vacation now at the Tendo Dojo and we're good friends with Akane"

He seemed a little disappointed. If this guy was any more like Kuno then Rhi was in for a hell of a time. That was the very reason they gave as little information as possible. Brendan spoke up again "Then, fair maidens, I must bid you farewell. Give the silver haired girl my regards. Adieu, adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow." He then picked himself up and shuffled off.

The three looked at each other in profound amazement. About five minutes later Rhi bounded up. "Hey guys! Kuno was actually sort nice to me. He even kissed my hand." Of course that was after she gave him that photo of Ti, but he kissed it anyway.

"That's nice." said Ti. She looked around "Where's Wart?"

"She bounded off after Ukuyo a while ago. She called her a hot babe. I guess we know who she's synching with." Tsubusa was the word in everyone's mind. "She should be at U-chan's by now. Why don't we meet her there, eh Ran-chan?" They all nodded, since they all had bottomless pits for stomachs.

"Sure, Rhi-chan." added Ranma.

Ran-chan? Rhi-chan? And those pancakes from this morning . . . So you're synching with Ukuyo, thought Ti, I guess that's all of us if you say I'm turning into Akane.

They started the walk to U-chan's. On the way Rhi, Ti, and Akane began an intensive discussion on "Sailormoon". Ranma stayed out of it. If there was one thing her was sure about, it was that Naoko Takeuchi must of had a demented mind. I mean, pretty sailor suited warriors regularly saving the universe? And with a guy dressed in a tuxedo who skulks around throwing roses? She had to be almost as demented as that chick that Titanite said wrote about his universe. What was her name? Rumiko Takahashi, wasn't it. Of course the whole idea was crackpot. He was nothing like Ataru from "Urusei Yatsura"! Or any other characters from her various manga. Well, there was that boxer who turned into a dog in Rumic Theater but . . .

When they got to U-chan's they split up into groups. Rhi and Ranma went to one side of the store front while Akane and Ti went to the other. They found Wart up front gazing at Ukuyo. Akane and Titanite continued their discussion but Rhi was trying to have a conversation, in low tones.

"Ran-chan? You know how you keep calling Akane kawaiikune? Don't tell her but you're correct."

"Hey! I'm the only one who can insult her! And she can be kawaii, rarely."

"The thing is that kawaii-ness is only one facet of beauty," Rhi continued. "Now Akane has character. Hers is a rugged beauty." She looked expectantly at Ranma. He started to sweat. Akane was an annoying tomboy but she was sort of pretty sometimes. But should he admit that?

"I guess you're right. Just don't tell her I said so. A guy needs to uphold his image, y'know." Rhi wouldn't say anything, he thought, she seemed secretive.

"Of course Ran-chan." Was Rhi trying not to laugh? Okay, it did sound a little silly when Ranma was still female, but did that command laughter? Ranma took a whole okonomiyaki and stuffed it into her companion's mouth. Her silver eyes danced. Ranma noticed that Rhi's expression turned from humorous to puzzlement and then dread. Ukuyo dropped her spatula. Wart turned around and stared, puzzzled. Akane stared maliciously while Ti screamed.

She felt the back slap. "Ranma, my boy! Glad to see you!" She turned around. No, it couldn't be!

But it was.

Happosai was back.

End Chapter 3

Credit Where Credit's Due:

The song Rhi karaoked was "For No One" by the Beatles. The song she mangled while making pancakes was "Karma Kameleon" by Culture Club. All hail Boy George and watch for his fictional descendant in my story "Shadowsong."

The thing about Dr. Tofu came from episode six of the series.

Yes, I know they're called Stars of David. I'm half Jewish, like Rhi-chan.

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Next Chapter: Not Another Monster!

The real chaos begins! (I think) A demon named Ralack, who was one of the many that possesses Happosai, got loose. Luckily we have Cologne around, as she just happens to know how to combat this demon. "It shall be defeated by two sisters, one a child of light and the other a child of darkness." Just who could that mean?